5 Easy Ways To Overcome Your Anxiety & How To Manage Anxiety

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I have anxiety. Over time I’ve learned how to overcome your anxiety and how to manage anxiety

My job has gotten incredibly stressful between my Director firing everyone under the sun and us getting into the busiest season for my industry as an understaffed and under-trained team.  It’s just been too much pressure. I need to learn how to overcome anxiety and how to manage anxiety.

I’m sure everyone feels like this at work sometimes and we all have our triggers. So I spent last Thursday and Friday off trying to unwind and not let my work take over my life. Then on Thursday, I felt so negative and restless. I was thinking about all these work problems. Like OMG I’m going to have to train all these new people, I’m not getting recognition, and this sucks. I started kinda feeling sweaty, upset with a pit in my stomach that just wouldn’t go away. It was physically uncomfortable and I didn’t know why I was feeling like this. I wanted to feel like my normal calm self. I thought, I shouldn’t feel this way on my day off. But the discomfort and negative feeling wasn’t going away.

I was having an anxiety attack.

What causes anxiety?

Anxiety is basically when you worry, feel negative or feel stress to the point where you are inducing your fight or flight instincts. This causes a negative physical reactions like increased heart rate, sweating, trembling, restlessness, sense of impending doom, stomach or chest pains etc.  These anxiety symptoms are no joke.

I tend to also get moody during these intense attacks. I was texting my husband just trying to get over it. And thankfully I did, years of anxiety have helped me manage it much better so at least so I’m not taking it out on someone else.

Here’s what’s helped me:

1. Recognize Your Anxiety

It seems so obvious but a lot times I didn’t realize I was going through an anxiety attack until it was over. My negative thoughts seemed so real to me. They aren’t even logical or rational half the time, but in the moment they are very real. So recognizing what is happening during an attack can be hard and confusing. What helps me to realize I am having anxiety is just to say what I am feeling out loud. “I feel upset” or “I feel anxious.” Just saying that helps me feel in control of what is happening. Ill usually follow with “Why?”

2. Figuring out your triggers:

Not understanding what causes anxiety is like being on a boat without a paddle. You’ll never understand why it’s happening and you’ll just feel helpless and anxious for the next attack. If you get anxiety attacks frequently, keep a diary of what you were doing and what you were thinking prior to the attack. Keep a log of the thoughts you had during the attack and how long the attack lasted. (Do this after the attack is over). I used to watch a lot of reality TV in college and was glued to my social media. I started having attacks and lashing out towards my (now) husband. Over time I realized that I was lashing out because the reality TV shows were making me feel bad about myself and I was always comparing my life to this and that on TV and thinking how boring and uneventful my life was; these thoughts were causing my anxiety. Right now I’m having anxiety from work so I can’t change my situation…

3. Confront VS Avoid

Is it better to confront or avoid you triggers? It depends. In the situation where I was getting anxiety from social media and reality TV, it made sense to avoid. I don’t NEED to have that in my life. On the other I NEED to work so I can’t just avoid going to work. In the situation with work I’m going to have to learn how to deal and confront that anxiety head on. My advice for confronting your anxiety you can’t avoid is just to immerse yourself in it.

I used to also get a lot of social anxiety where I would feel nervous if I had to socialize in a large group. I would nitpick conversations in my head and beat myself up if a conversation didn’t go my way. To overcome this, I became a real estate agent so I can meet many different people without feeling too much pressure to be perfect. And it worked! I’ve met hundreds of new people and now striking up conversation is not unusual or difficult.  Over time I became a smooth socializer and learned how to overcome my anxiety. I don’t care anymore about what other people are thinking about me or if I said something wrong. In certain situations, confronting what is making you feel anxious, especially like an every day occurrence like socializing, can absolutely help you cope and overcome that worry.

4. Take A Different Perspective:

I was still feeling really anxious that day and just wasn’t feeling good in my own skin. Dealing with my anxiety isn’t always easy. I spent a lot of time learning how to overcome anxiety. I knew I was being anxious and irrational so I just sat down and began writing my own thoughts out. I made a list of what I was thankful for, what I wanted to change in my life and brainstormed how I could make those changes. As soon as I was done I felt better. Like I had control over my life. Switching your frame of thought can absolutely help you overcome anxiety attacks. It takes practice because your problems in the moment feel so real and insurmountable. But all problems come with solutions, even if it takes a long time to see results. Thinking about all the great things in my life helped me minimize my worries and realize my problems weren’t as large as I thought.

5. See A Therapist:

If you have persistent negative thoughts, worries and anxiety I would recommend seeing a therapist. I haven’t been to a therapist but I think we should all evaluate where our self depreciating thoughts and anxious worries are coming from and a therapist can do just that. They can help with a lot of difficult mental issues like major depression, bipolar disorder, and severe anxiety. There no shame in it and you can always test out different therapists if you feel like one isn’t the right fit for you.

If you thought this post was insightful feel free to share, like and follow!

Check out my other posts 
The Power Of Positivity and On Gratitude… and When Good Enough Is Okay

Reduce Anxiety Naturally With These Amazing Organizers!

Signs Of Social Anxiety And How To Get Over It

How To Deal With Crushing Disappointment & Other Negative Emotions

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson- Review

Mark Manson Book Recommendation
Mark Manson Book Recommendation

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Book Recommendation: The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck By Mark Manson.

I forget where I heard of this book before. Maybe it was last year, but I read a book recommendation about thinking outside the box. I’m always perusing through the self help section on Amazon so I decided to pick this one up. This is a book for those who are feeling stuck or unmotivated. This became a best book to read in 2016/2017 when it became a NY Times Best Seller.

Some background on the author, Mark Manson is a guy who made a living during the recession blogging, mainly about relationships, life and everything in between. He amassed a huge following and wrote a book that became a best seller. My life goal in a nutshell.

I read it front to back over the course of 3-4 days and it’s definitely a great book to read for anyone that needs a different perspective on things.

Mark describes himself as unreflective, unaware and an asshole but, through his blog and life experience, has become successful from just not caring. I initially thought this would be an introduction on how to be a person who gets what they want from doing what they want without regards to others but, thankfully, it’s much deeper than that.

He takes you on a journey, through his own and other well researched stories, about how we tend to create values and box ourselves in with those values. “Not Giving A F*ck” is basically about questioning those values and the importance they should have in your life. He implores us to ask how we obtained those ideals and whether they are values we should hold ourselves accountable for. There are “shitty values” that most people have and “healthy values” that help us in life to be better people.

I loved how he encouraged us to find meaning in our lives and think introspectively  and become conscious of our self awareness.

This is not a book on how to be more successful or how to get more out of life. It’s about thinking about the life you already have and questioning your values and meaning. I thought it was great for people like me that tend to overthink things. There was a section that discussed the benefits of just being content with what’s in front of you. So many people are constantly reaching, not able to enjoy what’s right here and right now. The most insightful part was about “Not Being Special,” and that is was OK to not be special. Constantly needing outside affirmation that you’re special is a recipe for discontent and unhappiness. Manson seems to find the solution to letting go and how to be happy.

My favorite quotes were:

“Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something”

This was part of the Failure/Success Paradox chapter that basically reaffirmed that you can never be successful unless you fail a significant amount at something. With each failure you learn, and that brings you to success.

“Life is about not knowing and then doing something anyway. All of life is like this. It never changes.”

This was part of the Do Something Principle. Sometimes we’re just so afraid of failing, we do nothing. Well, doing something is better than nothing.  Or we start something, get discouraged, and do nothing before we reach success.  I can definitely relate to that.

This book recommendation is perfect for people who either think too much, are not introspective  or lack control in their lives.

If you’ve read this book by Mark Manson and like this motivational book review, feel free to add to the discussion in the comments.

Please like, share and subscribe if you thought this post was helpful 🙂

Visit My other Reviews

Quiet by Susan Cain: Summary and Review

Review: “The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey

Motivational Book Club: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Why I Use Instacart and Love It! Best Instacart Review!

How To Be Charismatic & How To Be More Likable

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Ever Wanted To Learn How To Be Charismatic Or How To Be More Likable?

I had a request about how to be more confident and I thought why not, let’s talk confidence, charisma and magnetism. And it’s honestly a hard topic to write about or even grasp. Confidence is such an intangible quality that is so allusive to most people. But we are all drawn to it. You might even ask yourself, “Am I Charismatic?,”How to be more likable” and “How to be Charismatic?”

I’m a natural introvert. In high school I was like a wallflower; I was quiet, soft spoken, trying to fall under the wings of my more extroverted friends and did not possess ANY natural charisma. I always associated confidence with being outgoing, popular, attractive, friendly and extroverted.

I painfully tried to fit in with my friends by displaying these characteristics. And at the end of it all, I still wasn’t confident. I was negative and jealous with a victim mentality. I had social anxiety; I would scroll through my newsfeed with a feeling of missing out… I was unhappy during high school and college because I was constantly comparing myself to everyone around me.

Fast forward to 2018 I’m now the most confident version of myself. I’m magnetic, and charismatic. I learned how to be more likable. I can talk to pretty much anybody and have accomplished most of my life goals. Last year I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I was hoping to see some friends I fell out of touch with. I wasn’t afraid to go up to people and mingle, I also wasn’t second guessing myself when I felt like sitting on my own and observing. I was happy and content to just be there, unapologetically.

I’m going on a tangent about my own self growth but the point of the topic is that self growth and confidence doesn’t come to everyone overnight. For some people it comes easier, but everyone is capable of being confident, charismatic and magnetic.

Work on the life you want for yourself.

I want you to close your eyes and envision the confident image you’ve always had for yourself. I want you to really think about that person. What they look like and what they are doing with their life. Are they with a career and family? Is that person traveling? Are they living in the big city? Are they the rock for their immediate family? Then I want you to think about why you came up with that image. What are your values that are creating that image? These are your core desires and not fulfilling them are what is causing that feeling of dissatisfaction/ lack of confidence.

Core desires are things you want for yourself that are integral to you self image. For some people a core desire is to be truly loved, to make a lot of money, or to look beautiful. There are a million different things that we can desire from the core of our being.

On a side note: these values might change over time. You might get to where you were going and realize, “hey, this isn’t really where I wanted to be. Let me tweak this a little.” That’s ok too.

Once you realize what your core values are and what you want from your life, you’ll be able to set real goals or accomplish them. I’m not talking about “oh, I want to be a entrepreneur and be my own boss in a few years or I’m going to be dating the love of my life soon” type goals.

I’m talking concrete goals with a tentative completion date. Actual steps to make that a reality.

Confidence, Charisma and Magnetism is hard work. People who know how to be more likable and who display these kind of characteristics tend to invest A LOT into themselves. They get these qualities from genuinely loving and appreciating the life they worked hard to achieve. There’s no shortcut for building a great self-esteem and sense of self.

I know for the past 10 years I’ve been pushing this image of myself. Little ole’ 19 year old me wanted to be a career woman, a reliable outgoing personable personality and be with my man of my dreams who truly loved and cared for me. For the past 10 years every choice and decision I made has been to grow in those areas. And now I’m finally comfortable in my own skin knowing that the person I always knew I was capable of being is truly who I am now. I have a great career that pays the bills, I have family that loves me and who I can be 100% myself around and with the love of my life who (surprise!) was there from the start!

Confidence also comes from changing perspectives and looking at things from a brighter perspective. Sometimes we can’t always change our situations right away but a good perspective can help us gain the confidence and charisma to change them.

I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve definitely come a long way in terms of being more likable and attracting what I want out of life. That includes love, friendship, and money.

This post is just an introduction on what changes you’ll need to take to get there but feel free to read my other post on personal growth, The Power Of Positivity and The Power Of Change.

Also check out these posts on CHARISMA

Be Charismatic By Mastering Small Talk

What Does Your Body Language Say About You?

How To Interview Well: Tips & Tricks For The Perfect Interview

The Power To Change And Have Good Thoughts


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Can Good Thoughts And The Power To Change Really Make A Difference?

In a previous post I mentioned the power of positivity. I think now is a good time for me to discuss the power to change and the importance of good thoughts.

Right now I’m going through a lot of change at work and it’s really stressful. My manager left and it took 1 and a 1/2 months for them to bring on a new person. We are severely short staffed and everyone is stressed and overworked. Apparently this is a good time for my Director to come in and shake things up. In his time at our office, he changed our deal flow, set up a billion meetings and let our underperforming admins go.

Le Sigh…now all of us (me) have to pick up all the slack.

Change in an organization is scary, but it’s also a time to shine. It’s a time when, let’s face it, shit hits the fan.

While my director was there I did all my duties, with no complaint and then some extra. I took this opportunity to make sure all my strengths were known and I took on a lot more to show I was reliable.

My receptionist didn’t fare so well with this change. I tried my best to keep her spirits up but I think she was reaching the end of her rope. In one meeting she basically said, “This is not my job, this is not what you hired me to do.”

We’ll..she just signed her death note. A week later my Director was making plans to send her packing. “We need people with a positive attitude and who want to be here,” he said. He wasn’t wrong. She was getting paid for her time there, not just for her responsibilities. It wasn’t expected she would take on those responsibilities forever and her resistance to taking on the extra work made her look like a slacker.

Change is natural in an organization. One persons opposition is not going to stop the will of the organization and the change that comes with it. Accepting change and greeting it with positivity can help you be perceived as a “Team Player,” “Progressive,” and “Positive.” It can lead to more opportunities and career growth. And being open to change also gives your managers/directors confidence that their ideas are valid and worth consideration. (Since then, my Director has confided in me that his job is actually really thankless).

My receptionist is gone and I really wish she would have just put on a happy face. She knew her job but the additional tasks that she opposed so fiercely cost her a job.  Now she’s back on the job hunt searching for work.

Change is vital and necessary.   Professional growth rarely comes without price.

Even if you’re not sure what direction to take when organizational change is happening, here are my tips on how to survive:

Keep your head low
Not everyone likes change or will be even welcoming to the change. Heck, you probably aren’t interested in shaking things up at work. But to avoid the chopping block, you’ll need to keep those thoughts to yourself and present yourself as a team player. Fake it ’til you make it!

Take initiative on the changes that are happening
Whether it’s a new computer program or a new employee joining the team, make an effort to embrace the change. You can start by learning the new program and training others on how to use it, bringing up questions about the change, or training the new employee on how to do things. By taking initiative, you’re able to provide value to the company and, by doing so, can avoid a pink slip.

Bring up flaws
This needs to be done tactfully but when organizational changes occur, it’s usually without Upper Management’s understanding of how it will affect employees. By mentioning an issue that might arise, you’re putting yourself in a position to stand out as long as you’re also able to come up with a viable solution. If you point out a problem and offer a solution, and your superiors aren’t feeling it, then my advice is to just drop it.

Overall, you don’t need to make change at work a scary thing. Work is just work, and change comes with it. Having The power to change your perspective is so important, as well as good thoughts! The best thing to do is go with the flow and see how it all plays out.

Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation. –Mahatma Gandhi   Motivational quote of the day.

Check Out My Other Posts

Why Integrity Matters

How To Get Ahead At Work Without Brown Nosing

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Good Enough Is OK


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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Will I Reach My Full Potential

We live in a society that’s all about reward and recognition. We want to be the best, the smartest, the prettiest, the coolest. It’s a huge pressure we carry around, and we don’t even realize it.  As millenials, we tend to put a huge amount of expectation on our selves to perform and be overall successful by society’s standards. We’re constantly asking ourselves “will I ever be good enough? and how can I reach my full potential”

When I was 21 I would cry in my bed just thinking about how everyone was having so much fun without me. Facebook was not nearly as political back then and it was all about getting likes and being in other people’s pictures. I wanted to be the prettiest and most liked and I would agonize over not being invited to stuff and, essentially, the center of attention.

But at 29, I can honestly say that those days I spent crying over problems I created were a waste. Days that I spent comparing myself to others were also wasteful. Not being happy with myself was so obvious, I’m sure I would made more friends if I was more positive and open.  Not being happy or confident in myself meant that I wan’t attracting, through the law of attraction, good things in my life.

I’m going on a tangent but I was good enough but unhappy about being “mediocre.” Mediocre is such a harsh word and I don’t think it should be applied to people. Now I’m finally at a place where I can say “Yes, I’m doing okay and that’s good enough.” I think it has a lot to do with gratitude and being grateful. I touched on How To Be Grateful And Life A Happy Life! in my last post.  They say “Perfection is the enemy of good,” and I would agree that perfection is not attainable.

Examples of Good Enough

1. Putting food and shelter over your head for the entirety of your adult life. (You get an A+ for doing this for multiple people)

2. Getting a passing grade in Algebra when you’ve always struggled to learn math.

3. Working 40 years in the same position but being able to retired with a comfortable nest egg.

4. Going to any college and finishing.

5. Not going to college and completing technical school.

6. Being married for 30 years and raising a family.

7. Being healthy and going to the doctor for regular checkups.

8. Creating a workout and meal plan, not always sticking to it but trying anyway.

9. Not having a large savings yet but being debt free.

10. Being of average appearance but keeping clean and well groomed.

I’m not saying we should abandon our aspirations and dreams.  Inspiration can come out of being ordinary.  Inspiring others by being a positive person with good thoughts and positive thinking. Being content with how things are today are the foundation blocks of growing and building as a person. When I started in my industry, I sucked. But that was good enough until I finally got better. I kept working on it and I’ll keep working on it. I didn’t let fear of failure or not being the best hold me back from what I intended to do with my life to be successful on my own terms.  Life isn’t fair and life isn’t perfect but you can’t let that fact keep you from trying. How’s that for a Motivational quote!

So I would say, it’s okay to be good enough today and it will be fine to be good enough tomorrow. Focus on what values you want to carry in your life. Being good enough in areas that you don’t value won’t matter in the long run. You’ll reach your full potential in due time