How To Be Charismatic & How To Be More Likable

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!
Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

Ever Wanted To Learn How To Be Charismatic Or How To Be More Likable?

I had a request about how to be more confident and I thought why not, let’s talk confidence, charisma and magnetism. And it’s honestly a hard topic to write about or even grasp. Confidence is such an intangible quality that is so allusive to most people. But we are all drawn to it. You might even ask yourself, “Am I Charismatic?,”How to be more likable” and “How to be Charismatic?”

I’m a natural introvert. In high school I was like a wallflower; I was quiet, soft spoken, trying to fall under the wings of my more extroverted friends and did not possess ANY natural charisma. I always associated confidence with being outgoing, popular, attractive, friendly and extroverted.

I painfully tried to fit in with my friends by displaying these characteristics. And at the end of it all, I still wasn’t confident. I was negative and jealous with a victim mentality. I had social anxiety; I would scroll through my newsfeed with a feeling of missing out… I was unhappy during high school and college because I was constantly comparing myself to everyone around me.

Fast forward to 2018 I’m now the most confident version of myself. I’m magnetic, and charismatic. I learned how to be more likable. I can talk to pretty much anybody and have accomplished most of my life goals. Last year I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I was hoping to see some friends I fell out of touch with. I wasn’t afraid to go up to people and mingle, I also wasn’t second guessing myself when I felt like sitting on my own and observing. I was happy and content to just be there, unapologetically.

I’m going on a tangent about my own self growth but the point of the topic is that self growth and confidence doesn’t come to everyone overnight. For some people it comes easier, but everyone is capable of being confident, charismatic and magnetic.

Work on the life you want for yourself.

I want you to close your eyes and envision the confident image you’ve always had for yourself. I want you to really think about that person. What they look like and what they are doing with their life. Are they with a career and family? Is that person traveling? Are they living in the big city? Are they the rock for their immediate family? Then I want you to think about why you came up with that image. What are your values that are creating that image? These are your core desires and not fulfilling them are what is causing that feeling of dissatisfaction/ lack of confidence.

Core desires are things you want for yourself that are integral to you self image. For some people a core desire is to be truly loved, to make a lot of money, or to look beautiful. There are a million different things that we can desire from the core of our being.

On a side note: these values might change over time. You might get to where you were going and realize, “hey, this isn’t really where I wanted to be. Let me tweak this a little.” That’s ok too.

Once you realize what your core values are and what you want from your life, you’ll be able to set real goals or accomplish them. I’m not talking about “oh, I want to be a entrepreneur and be my own boss in a few years or I’m going to be dating the love of my life soon” type goals.

I’m talking concrete goals with a tentative completion date. Actual steps to make that a reality.

Confidence, Charisma and Magnetism is hard work. People who know how to be more likable and who display these kind of characteristics tend to invest A LOT into themselves. They get these qualities from genuinely loving and appreciating the life they worked hard to achieve. There’s no shortcut for building a great self-esteem and sense of self.

I know for the past 10 years I’ve been pushing this image of myself. Little ole’ 19 year old me wanted to be a career woman, a reliable outgoing personable personality and be with my man of my dreams who truly loved and cared for me. For the past 10 years every choice and decision I made has been to grow in those areas. And now I’m finally comfortable in my own skin knowing that the person I always knew I was capable of being is truly who I am now. I have a great career that pays the bills, I have family that loves me and who I can be 100% myself around and with the love of my life who (surprise!) was there from the start!

Confidence also comes from changing perspectives and looking at things from a brighter perspective. Sometimes we can’t always change our situations right away but a good perspective can help us gain the confidence and charisma to change them.

I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve definitely come a long way in terms of being more likable and attracting what I want out of life. That includes love, friendship, and money.

This post is just an introduction on what changes you’ll need to take to get there but feel free to read my other post on personal growth, The Power Of Positivity and The Power Of Change.

Also check out these posts on CHARISMA

Be Charismatic By Mastering Small Talk

What Does Your Body Language Say About You?

How To Interview Well: Tips & Tricks For The Perfect Interview

Dear Single Friends, This Is Why You’re Still Single. Love, Your Married Friend.


LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!
Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

“Why am I still single?” I’m A Married Friend That’s Heard That Over And Over Again

This post is not meant to be a personal attack on single people or say marriage is better than being single. This post is for people who are wondering why they’re still single and want advice from a married friend.

I’ve noticed a few things that people keep doing that prevent them from having healthy and growing relationships. Self-sabatoge, if you may. You may not even notice that this behavior is occurring but trust and believe that these habits will keep ANYONE from finding a fulfilling relationship. It may have been a habit you kind of fell into or something you grew up around but we’re here today because those habits are just not working and need to be changed.

Here are some of those toxic relationship habits:

1. You are unrealistic: I hate to put it this way but the dating scene is a market like any other. We all come with strengths and weaknesses. Pluses and minuses. We can’t all get prince charming or the hottest babe at the beach. You really get what you bring to the table. And you need to be honest with yourself with what it is and manage your expectations. Declaring yourself a “bad bitch” and “all that” is great talk. But are you independent? Are you compassionate? A good cook? Caring? Genuine? Breakups usually happen when one or two people in a relationship realize that there was a misrepresentation somewhere and there isn’t any true compatibility.

FeedMe

2. You’re selfish: I have single friends who are this type. Demand, demand, demand. As their married friend, I just shake my head. They make their partners jump through hoops, complain about everything their partner does wrong. Does not share time with their partner but expects their partners to drop everything for them. These selfish types are usually lots of fun but leave a string of heartbreak and disappointment behind them. It really doesn’t work to be in a relationship with this type of person, you’ll always feel like you’re bending backwards to please them. If this is you in a relationship, you’ll need to work hard and start making small gestures of selfless acts and love to repair the damage you’ve done to your relationships

3. White nights/Florence Nightingales: they love to make people people better, even at their own expense. They are the opposite of the selfish type. They enable but eventually resentment slips in for all the “sacrifices” they made in the relationship. Most of all they need to be with partners they can accept, not change. I am the worst offender for this type of habit. I loved the idea of changing someone, if they could change for me then that meant they really loved me. But that was the worst type of thinking. It was that type of thinking that eventually resulted in my heart being broken many times.

4. Peter Pans: they are never going to grow up. Time is not on their mind and they think they have all the time in the world to find a partner. They are not mature enough and they know it. Peter Pans are afraid of making the wrong decision so they avoid making decisions in their life that have long term meaning. This usually manifests itself in a relationship with one partner relying on the other to make day to day decisions. They’re really looking for someone to fill the role of Mom or Dad.

5. No self love: This is probably the most important and underlying problem. This probably underlies problems 1-4. Self love is so important. Not loving yourself, understanding yourself, accepting yourself and working on yourself can cause a whole set of behavioral problems. Accept your own faults and then work on them. We aren’t perfect but we need to accept ourselves and grow. People who don’t self-love are usually bitter, angry, depressed, and a whole range of negative emotions and vibes overall. It’s really hard to be in a relationship like this with someone who has insecurity and confidence issues. Don’t wait for a partner to boost your confidence because all that is is a bandaid over your lack of self-love. Work on it now while you can so you can enter a new relationship with the best possible mindset.

—————————-

I think the key to a life partner is self love, genuine love and care for your partner and the right expectations. Before you can even begin to have a healthy and nurturing relationship, you need to work on yourself and get your own mental blocks out of the way. It’s easier said than done but relationships are a lot of work. It can be easy to some and harder to others. Long term relationships can be so rewarding, but they often don’t come easy. So as your married friend, I’ll tell you to take your time and start loving yourself first. That’s what’s most important.

Which bad habit are you most guilty of? Feel free to comment below!

Check out my other relationships posts:

Why Dating Culture Doesn’t Work Towards Marriage

The Biggest Red Flags In A Relationship

How To Get A Guy To Commit Without Pressure And Fall In Love With You

Get Over Your Ex Now! With These Easy Tips

The Power Of Positivity: Live The Good Life

Positivity

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!
Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

I like to consider positivity one of those things you just exude. The power of positivity hold so much weight in our society nowadays.  We all know that person who caries a cloud over their head, raining on everything and everyone around them and then there’s that person who brings light into every room they enter. You know this person is living the good life.  They greet everyone, laugh, remember your name and generally just have a good disposition.  When talking about the future or their current state, it’s all good!  And it’s not an act, these are people who generally believe it.  We also remember what it’s like to be around someone who is depressed and an all around Negative Nelly.  But being positive can make you stand out.

There was this girl from law school that I knew.  She was very well liked, smart and…positive!  I never remember her complaining about the workload, the classes or really anything in general.  She worked hard, studied, networked through extracurricular activities. She had that confidence and believed in her work and her reason for being there.  That girl ended up winning.  She graduated among the top of her class and ended up in a great associates position at a major law firm.  I on the other hand was very negative at the time and ended up dropping out later that year. (More on that in another post)

I really didn’t learn the power of positivity until later in life. And it honestly makes a difference!  It changes your life! And best of all it makes you happy!

  1. Gratitude: At any given time we all have problems in our life.  A flat tire, a bad hair day, a lost loved one, a hard day at work.  And it’s so easy to focus on these issues but what about the good things in your life?  What about your family or great partner? What about the fact that you’ve made it to X years in your life? You’re still here enjoying what it means to be human! What about the food on the table, your job, the clothes on your back the God-given gifts life has presented you?  Now imagine you spent as much time feeling this positive about what you have in life vs what’s wrong.
  2. Affirmation: Even if it’s not true say it and make it true.  Last night I was working out with my Husband, he was helping me out with weight training.  He likes to push me.  Meanwhile, I haven’t done a single push up in, like, 8 years.  The phrases I said were, “I can’t,” “it’s too much,” “you’ve lifted more weight than me.”  when is was his turn to work out, he kept pushing himself, “come on!” “Let’s go!” After he was done with his set, he’d push himself further, “two more!” Again and again. My point is, believe in the goal and the goal will come true.  Reality starts with thought, positive or negative, and that is what the outcome will be.  My husband really believed he could lift the weight and even when he was tired and pushing himself, he could.  Write down your goals. Say them aloud every day, affirm them.  You’ll be surprised at how easily the ideas come  to you, as well as the willpower to make them happen .
  3. Action: Because positivity is nothing but hope without action, you can keep saying your mantras, keep having positive thoughts but if you’re not willing to put in the work to make it happen…  I’m sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, it ain’t falling out of the sky and happening for you. You need to ask yourself the hard questions.  What are you willing to do to make this happen? What are you willing to sacrifice? Because all gains in life start with sacrifice and work.

What I’m really saying is that changing your attitude and your perception coupled with action can bring blessings and “luck” into your life.  This isn’t just another motivational blog post.  Give it a try, seriously.   Positive thinking is everything.  Maybe positively can’t change all the problems in the world, but it will definitely change how you feel about them. 🙂  Stay Positive!

I hope you liked “The Power Of Positivity”
Check out my other articles!

The Power Of Change 
On Gratitude…
Playing The Game Of Life And Winning: 5 Approaches To Success

Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron