Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Good Enough Is OK


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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Will I Reach My Full Potential

We live in a society that’s all about reward and recognition. We want to be the best, the smartest, the prettiest, the coolest. It’s a huge pressure we carry around, and we don’t even realize it.  As millenials, we tend to put a huge amount of expectation on our selves to perform and be overall successful by society’s standards. We’re constantly asking ourselves “will I ever be good enough? and how can I reach my full potential”

When I was 21 I would cry in my bed just thinking about how everyone was having so much fun without me. Facebook was not nearly as political back then and it was all about getting likes and being in other people’s pictures. I wanted to be the prettiest and most liked and I would agonize over not being invited to stuff and, essentially, the center of attention.

But at 29, I can honestly say that those days I spent crying over problems I created were a waste. Days that I spent comparing myself to others were also wasteful. Not being happy with myself was so obvious, I’m sure I would made more friends if I was more positive and open.  Not being happy or confident in myself meant that I wan’t attracting, through the law of attraction, good things in my life.

I’m going on a tangent but I was good enough but unhappy about being “mediocre.” Mediocre is such a harsh word and I don’t think it should be applied to people. Now I’m finally at a place where I can say “Yes, I’m doing okay and that’s good enough.” I think it has a lot to do with gratitude and being grateful. I touched on How To Be Grateful And Life A Happy Life! in my last post.  They say “Perfection is the enemy of good,” and I would agree that perfection is not attainable.

Examples of Good Enough

1. Putting food and shelter over your head for the entirety of your adult life. (You get an A+ for doing this for multiple people)

2. Getting a passing grade in Algebra when you’ve always struggled to learn math.

3. Working 40 years in the same position but being able to retired with a comfortable nest egg.

4. Going to any college and finishing.

5. Not going to college and completing technical school.

6. Being married for 30 years and raising a family.

7. Being healthy and going to the doctor for regular checkups.

8. Creating a workout and meal plan, not always sticking to it but trying anyway.

9. Not having a large savings yet but being debt free.

10. Being of average appearance but keeping clean and well groomed.

I’m not saying we should abandon our aspirations and dreams.  Inspiration can come out of being ordinary.  Inspiring others by being a positive person with good thoughts and positive thinking. Being content with how things are today are the foundation blocks of growing and building as a person. When I started in my industry, I sucked. But that was good enough until I finally got better. I kept working on it and I’ll keep working on it. I didn’t let fear of failure or not being the best hold me back from what I intended to do with my life to be successful on my own terms.  Life isn’t fair and life isn’t perfect but you can’t let that fact keep you from trying. How’s that for a Motivational quote!

So I would say, it’s okay to be good enough today and it will be fine to be good enough tomorrow. Focus on what values you want to carry in your life. Being good enough in areas that you don’t value won’t matter in the long run. You’ll reach your full potential in due time

How To Be Grateful And Life A Happy Life!

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Do You Want To Know How To Be Grateful And Live A Happy Life?

When I was a child I envisioned my adult self as someone who knew how to be grateful and live a happy life. I always said that if I made X amount of dollars, I would do A,B, and C.

I would 1) Pay off all my student loans, 2) create a nest egg and maybe retire early, 3) enjoy life.

I remember being 23 and pregnant, stocking shelves at a Target hating all the customers around me and just wishing my life was “THERE” already. That place where you’ve already made it, where you don’t have to worry about money or bills and where life doesn’t feel like a struggle anymore.  I needed a good job and I needed to boost my career.  I was so focused on this goal, thinking it would make everything better.

I hate to admit it but “THERE” doesn’t exist.  You never really get to “THERE”  All you have is right now, right “HERE”  And if you don’t take a moment to be happy with what you have now, you’ll always be feeling perpetually unhappy and lacking.  Happiness is a choice. Surround yourself with good thoughts and positive people and eventually the best life has to offer will rub off on you.

Now I make X amount of dollars and I also work with customers that are in the top 5% of earners in our country.  You would think they would act more civilized, have children that are well behaved and be overall less LOst in The SaucE.  Nope, just as crappy as the Target customers who couldn’t take the time to put the ice cream back in the freezer section when they decided they didn’t want it anymore.

I’ve been feeling a bit down about my job because of this.  Like “God, this my life forever.  There’s no escaping how crappy people are.”  It’s been making me feel depressed and negative.

The best things to do when you’re feeling like this is think about your life in this order:

  1. Think About The Past: 10 years ago, I was 18 and just graduating high school with now idea what was going to happen in my life.  I was working at an Auntie Annes pretzel shop with customers yelling at me and throwing pretzels at me if I didn’t get an order right. I’d like to say I’ve come a long way.
  2. Think about the Future:  In 10 years I probably won’t be working at this place, dealing with the BS. I’ll be working somewhere else and dealing with other BS.  Or hopefully on my way to part-time work or self employment. Most likely I won’t have to work with these people I’m working with now.
  3. Think About The Now:   My job pays my bills, allows me to save.  It’s time well spent on my resume.  I have 401K match, so free money! I have health insurance.  My schedule isn’t the worst.  I’m paid fair market rate for my role.

Now having written this out, I already feel better about all the problems I thought I had. To me that’s Gratitude, realizing that your problems aren’t really problems.  Its LIFE.  And everyone is living LIFE as best they can.  We all have to work on being more grateful and aspire to live a happy life. Gratitude is the key to happiness. Gratitude is the best attitude to have.  Being grateful can fill your life with self love and happiness.  They say that you are what you feel.  The law of attraction can bring you success in this life.  I think it all starts with Gratitude.

Check Out My Other Posts!!

The Power Of Positivity: Live The Good Life

Why Integrity Matters

How To Make A Change in Your Life

This Motivational Mantra Is My Favorite

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Follow these motivational mantras to change your life

This is a classic motivational mantra and quote but when I first read this, I thought it was useless. Talent is everything. We should aim to be the most talented, the best. I was 22 when I first came across this poster. And they can change your life.

Talent is nothing other than these 10 tools.  Inspire yourself to be better.

1) Being on Time: its really rare to meet someone who is always on time. Being consistently on time requires making planning ahead and leaving early a habit. Nowadays people don’t see the value in timeliness but not leaving others to wait on you shows that you’re RELIABLE.

2. Work Ethic & 3. Effort: Is really about doing your best. Work is demanding and hard. But if you put your best towards everyday, you WILL get noticed. I’ve caught colleagues just slacking off when the boss wasn’t looking, allowing others to pick up this slack. I lost respect immediately. And eventual the boss will notice too.

4. Body Language: It took me while to get the hang of this one. How you carry yourself is very important. Make eye contact, initiate a handshake, stand with confidence, smile. About 60% of all communication is with body language. Make sure you’re saying something positive. My receptionist literally greets everyone like they are ruining her day. We had to train her to say “hello, how are you?” and offer them refreshment to offset her rough demeanor.
5. Energy: I have a physically demanding sales job. I need to have the same energy with the last client like I would with the first. I need to fill the room with positive energy and make it translate to what I’m selling. Have you ever had a conversation with someone and realized that they just weren’t feeling it? That’s bad energy, we don’t want that. Good energy starts with how you feel about yourself.  Only good thoughts allowed with this motivational mantra.
6. Attitude: ever heard the phrase “it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it” That’s attitude. You say something in a million different ways. Positive energy and attitude is addictive and attractive. Negative attitude and energy is NOT. Complaining you have too much work or that your coworker is annoying doesn’t do anything to change the situation. Do that enough times and you’ll be dubbed the negative nelly at work. And guess what? Negative nellies get laid off during the first round and negative nellies don’t get promotions.
7. Passion: Know what your working for and why. Understanding your purpose for being at work will drive you in some of these other areas. Whether it’s because you love your field or merely because you need to put food on the table for your family, this is critical for success in any endeavor. Use that passion and positive thinking to fuel your performance.

8. Being Coachable: you didn’t come into the job knowing everything but you need to be willing to learn. When the company introduces new policy and program, you need to be able to adapt. Your attitude plays a role too. Sometimes I find myself making excuses for myself why I can’t meet a certain goal. “It’s too this or too that.” When really my manager is trying to teach it to me and I’m my negativity is dismissing it. Being able to grow and learn will play a huge role in your success.  Positive thinking is a must if you want to change your life!
9. Doing Extra: My secretary has an attitude of “mine vs yours” when it comes to work ethic. She really feels like any task that is new, is a task being pushed on to her. “Why can’t X do this work, she’s been doing this all this time.” But taking extra work allows you to learn skills you wouldn’t be able to do in otherwise. It could be transferable to other jobs and can even make you irreplaceable. I’m not the best, but am capable of doing everyone’s job and even training others. That alone gives me more value. Maybe I stay late some nights, but I don’t worry too much about being put on the chopping block.  If you want to be recognized as a hard working employee, doing extra can really make you stand out, change your life and reach your goals.
10. Being Prepared: I’m not good at this one but it revolves around being able have a conversation with your boss or coworker and knowing your facts. A lot of managers want to know details. “What’s going on, why are your numbers showing x, why did this customer say x about you. You made x report, I have a few follow up questions.” Being able to speak and present on the spot because you know your stuff can be career changing. You never know who you’ll meet or impress so being knowledgeable about what you’re doing is key. This motivational mantra is probably the most important of all.

I’ve learned a lot but these inspirational thoughts and these motivational mantra in 10 lines stick with me and have helped me grow. Build a strong foundation for work and the building won’t fall when storms and wind arrive.

Check out my other posts!

What Does It Take To Be Charismatic and Likeable?

How To Stay Motivated And Keep Your Goals

Motivational Book Club: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18

Carefree

 
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There are so many things I wish I knew when I was 18

Things I wish I knew when I was 18 just starting my adult life.

This time of year I get really nostalgic, is it really 2018?  10 years after the recession and 11 after my high school graduation?  God, if only I knew then what I know now…I would shake some sense into me! These are the things I wish I knew when I was 18.

Go to a cheap college

Either state or city school.  Don’t spend thousands and thousands of dollars on the private college experience unless you’re are getting a significant scholarship.  The experience just so you can party is a waste of time.  You’ll have to grow out of that behavior when your older and ready to settle down.  I bought into the whole college experience and literally felt bad for every one else who had to commute to their college and were unable to be “independent” and have fun.  

Now I envy their freedom from debt.  I did not think about student loans, what the interest rate would be or how it would effect me financially.  I didn’t even understand how much I was really taking. 

Don’t compare yourself so much to other people.  Stay in your lane.

I started college right before the start of the recession.  It was all about who was friends with who, what you wore, what parties you were invited to, and who you dated.   I really prioritized these things.  Facebook was just starting to take off.  (This was before it became a corporate spy for ad companies). I would literally get depressed if I saw friends having fun without me. (How dare they leave me out!)   I’d be in a state of depression and have anxiety too.

Now I’m so happy when I’m on Instagram or Snapchat.  Because everyone’s life should be awesome and it’s great seeing other people succeed and grow.  At the same time, I’ve learned how to humble and grateful.  I’m realizing how blessed I am.   This is the kind of positive thinking that fills you up and makes you a memorable person to be around.

Do you, worry about what’s in your pocket!  

One of the things I wish I knew when I was 18 was not to care so much. I used to care so much about everyone having the same opportunity, not selling out, and being fair.  What I didn’t realize was that by giving everyone a share of my pie, I really didn’t have anything for myself left.  I mean, didn’t I earn the whole pie? 

I shared way too much; my ideas, my time, my money.  And it was all because I wanted people to like me and not view me as selfish.  And 99% of them, are not even in my life anymore.  I really didn’t have to put all that effort, because the people who  are still by my side never really needed anything from me.

 It’s about how much you save

YOLO and FOMO were pretty much one of the worst, most unnecessary  campaigns of my youth.   

Like we totally fell for it. We bought things and went on trips with money we didn’t have all for the show of it. 

If I had cut back savings just for dumb things like coffee, alcohol, fast food, and general wasteful spending and then invested that in a mutual fund….I’d have a nice nest egg for a down payment on a home.  But unfortunately 18-25 yr olds don’t think like that.  YOLO! Oh wait, I’m here another day, just broke.   Saving would have been the best financial advice to follow at that point.

Love is not a Disney story line.

I was really impractical and selfish during my early 20s.  I’m lucky was able to hold on to the man of my dreams but it definitely did not pan out like a Disney storyline.  At 21, I felt entitled like a princess.  My husband felt like he had to take me out on dates with money he didn’t have!  I sometimes felt like he wasn’t good enough. 🙁  Little did I know he was Mr. Right, my Mr. Big.  We could’ve just saved a lot of fights and bad behavior if I wasn’t sooo cringey. 

Over time, I learned that I needed to bring something to the table besides being pretty and young. Relationships are really a give and take and not so much about you changing the other person but about being complementary. 

At 28, I’d say I feel more matured but if only 18 year old me knew these things.  Life would have been so much easier!

 

Any thoughts? Or anything to add?  Feel free in the comments below and let me know what you think about “Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18.”  Getting older is great as long as your also getting wiser!

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Check out my other posts 

My Favorite Motivational Mantra

The Power Of Change

The Power Of Positivity: Live The Good Life

Positivity

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I like to consider positivity one of those things you just exude. The power of positivity hold so much weight in our society nowadays.  We all know that person who caries a cloud over their head, raining on everything and everyone around them and then there’s that person who brings light into every room they enter. You know this person is living the good life.  They greet everyone, laugh, remember your name and generally just have a good disposition.  When talking about the future or their current state, it’s all good!  And it’s not an act, these are people who generally believe it.  We also remember what it’s like to be around someone who is depressed and an all around Negative Nelly.  But being positive can make you stand out.

There was this girl from law school that I knew.  She was very well liked, smart and…positive!  I never remember her complaining about the workload, the classes or really anything in general.  She worked hard, studied, networked through extracurricular activities. She had that confidence and believed in her work and her reason for being there.  That girl ended up winning.  She graduated among the top of her class and ended up in a great associates position at a major law firm.  I on the other hand was very negative at the time and ended up dropping out later that year. (More on that in another post)

I really didn’t learn the power of positivity until later in life. And it honestly makes a difference!  It changes your life! And best of all it makes you happy!

  1. Gratitude: At any given time we all have problems in our life.  A flat tire, a bad hair day, a lost loved one, a hard day at work.  And it’s so easy to focus on these issues but what about the good things in your life?  What about your family or great partner? What about the fact that you’ve made it to X years in your life? You’re still here enjoying what it means to be human! What about the food on the table, your job, the clothes on your back the God-given gifts life has presented you?  Now imagine you spent as much time feeling this positive about what you have in life vs what’s wrong.
  2. Affirmation: Even if it’s not true say it and make it true.  Last night I was working out with my Husband, he was helping me out with weight training.  He likes to push me.  Meanwhile, I haven’t done a single push up in, like, 8 years.  The phrases I said were, “I can’t,” “it’s too much,” “you’ve lifted more weight than me.”  when is was his turn to work out, he kept pushing himself, “come on!” “Let’s go!” After he was done with his set, he’d push himself further, “two more!” Again and again. My point is, believe in the goal and the goal will come true.  Reality starts with thought, positive or negative, and that is what the outcome will be.  My husband really believed he could lift the weight and even when he was tired and pushing himself, he could.  Write down your goals. Say them aloud every day, affirm them.  You’ll be surprised at how easily the ideas come  to you, as well as the willpower to make them happen .
  3. Action: Because positivity is nothing but hope without action, you can keep saying your mantras, keep having positive thoughts but if you’re not willing to put in the work to make it happen…  I’m sorry to have to be the one to break it to you, it ain’t falling out of the sky and happening for you. You need to ask yourself the hard questions.  What are you willing to do to make this happen? What are you willing to sacrifice? Because all gains in life start with sacrifice and work.

What I’m really saying is that changing your attitude and your perception coupled with action can bring blessings and “luck” into your life.  This isn’t just another motivational blog post.  Give it a try, seriously.   Positive thinking is everything.  Maybe positively can’t change all the problems in the world, but it will definitely change how you feel about them. 🙂  Stay Positive!

I hope you liked “The Power Of Positivity”
Check out my other articles!

The Power Of Change 
On Gratitude…
Playing The Game Of Life And Winning: 5 Approaches To Success

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