Way of The Wolf By Jordan Belfort ~Full Book Review

Way Of The Wolf Jordan Belfort Book Review
Way Of The Wolf Jordan Belfort Book Review

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My company requires me to read two developmental books as part of my performance goals so I picked up “The Way Of The Wolf” by Jordan Belfort. It’s supposed to be a look at his sales strategy on how to increase closing. At first I was thinking, I hope this is appropriate for work, Wolf of Wall Street wasn’t rated PG and it was basically a movie about how these sleazy stock broker salespeople screwed people out of money. I wondered whether the book would have legitimate sales advice or technique on how to scam. Then I thought, well, he went to federal prison and then came out and wrote a book on his experience, then made it a bestseller, then sold the rights to the film, sooooooo he might actually know a thing or two.

And he does. I would describe his selling technique as a bit old school but it definitely works. If you’re a seasoned salesperson, you might recognize some of these tricks and maybe pick up a few new ones. I definitely did.

I liked how he made references to the movie to help me conceptualize his technique because it kind of ties everything together.

The main takeaway is that he uses what he calls “The Straightline System” for selling. The Straightline System is basically getting people from being uncertain about the thing you’re selling to absolutely certain. He shows you how to get them there in the most efficient fashion.

Jordan Belfort says that people can be emotionally certain or logically certain, but unless you have both a sale isn’t made. Looking back at all the deals that fell through for me, I always missed either the emotional aspect or the logical. But Jordan explains that it’s actually quite easy to get people to feel 100% like their emotional and logical decision is to buy what you’re selling. In this way, I found Way Of The Wolf as very old school. A lot of these techniques I’ve seen from very seasoned salespeople who are successful in their field.

Some of the highlights that I found useful:

That selling is more of an art. It’s more than just saying “buy this because of reason’s X,Y and Z.” It’s actually a very complex process, which Jordan Belfort breaks down for you, one with many layers.

Here he teaches you how to make a good first impression and stresses the importance of respecting the first impression and giving it your all. I used to be the type of person who thought that first impressions were a myth and that initial impressions can change over time. That is true, but it requires a LOT of work. Way Of The Wolf makes it easy to give an amazing first impression.

Tonality and Body Language was an essential chapter. Personally, I think that’s how Jordan Belfort really persuaded people to buy into his penny stocks and business ideas. He truly is the master on how to give off the right tone coupled with perfect body language. The obvious truth is that a majority of our communication is in verbal tone and body language. So how do we tap into this incredible communication resource?

Jordan Belfort masters this with his concept of future pacing and establishing an empowered state. Basically imagining yourself as already achieving a certain outcome and getting in the state you feel when you’ve accomplished something incredible. Once you achieve that and are able to tap into those two things on demand, your tonality and body language will reflect the confidence you need to persuade people to do anything!

To be honest, I used this technique before so it was nice to see that Jordan knew this little trick. It’s more than a “just fake it till you make it” ideology. The core concept is that you truly believe you’ve made it so that others can believe in it too.

Then he goes into how to prospect properly and touches on the ONE mistake all sales novices make.

That is, trying to close anyone and everyone without knowing if they’re truly capable of closing, without screening or qualifying them.

Jordan Belfort goes into detail on how to properly qualify them so that you know exactly whether they’re a prospect worth pursuing or not.

Way Of The Wolf also stresses the importance of having a good script. At first I kind of scoffed at the idea. I mean, seriously, a script?!? When I think of a script I think of canned words from a cold calling salesperson that doesn’t know his hand from his foot. But Jordan Belfort convinced me. Here’s what he said about it, “Since the day you were old enough to talk, every single movie or TV show that made you scream, laugh, cry, or shout or got you so deeply invested in the characters that you ended up binge watching the entire series in a single weekend, every last one of them was scripted.”

And it’s true, movies can capture our hearts and yet they require scripts to do that. The actors put in hours and hours, days upon days to perfect their lines and create the perfect scene. Now imagine if as a salesperson you could be as persuasive as those actors selling you those scenes? That’s why I think it’s time for me to come up with a sales script and give it a second chance.

Overall I found Way Of The Wolf as an excellent guide on how to sell, especially for beginners just starting out. Being able to think back on certain scenes of The Wolf Of Wall Street and see how he used these techniques really helped put his sales tactics into perspective. Would recommend for all novice salespeople and veterans refreshing on their sales chops.

My favorite quotes:
“Every word, every phrase, every question you ask, every tonality you use; every single one of them should have the same ultimate goal in mind, which is to increase the prospect’s level of certainty as much as humanly possible so that by the time you get to the close he’s feeling so incredibly certain that he almost has to say yes. That’s the goal.” Quote from Inventing The Straightline

“Either you’re being judged as a person who is sharp, on the ball, someone they want to do business with or you’re being judged as someone they do not want to do business with.” Quote from Advanced Body Language.

“When I say, ‘extremely powerful,’ what I mean is that once you become even reasonably proficient with this strategy you can actually get people to buy things they shouldn’t buy, and do things they shouldn’t do, without them even realizing that an extraordinary amount of influence was brought to bear.” Quote from Advanced Tonality

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Why Integrity Matters

As I get older, The idea of living a life of integrity is starting to fade. I miss being “green” and wanting to do the right thing all the time.

But I know that that’s not how the world works. Why is that? Because of greed, selfishness and ego. This is what drives our world.

Integrity, according to Webster Dictionary, means a firm adherence to an exceptional code of moral or artistic values.

As a child I was always concerned about doing the right thing, making sure everyone got their fair share. But even then, I noticed the lack of fairness and integrity in my fellow students, teachers and other adults. I saw the most talented athletes get chosen first for sports teams at gym and given the most floor time. Students that wanted to participate were left to the sidelines. And I’m not even talking about organized school sports. Teachers spent the most time with students who were already very smart, had tutoring and helicopter parents to support their performance. So children who had less were expected to produce more to keep up.

I always thought adulthood would be a lot easier when dealing with moral problems. I thought people are honest. Naively, I wondered why would adults lie? I had thought that my fellow students were opportunistic liars and cheaters because they were immature. But the reality is that these children would grow up to be adults who continued to lack important characteristics like honesty, integrity and virtue. The saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” has a ring of truth.

The childhood version of me imagined that I would grow into an adult that was confident, sure, honest and willing to fight for what’s right but now I’m not sure I’ll ever be those things. Some days I can feel myself shrinking, barraged by the screams of people playing politics and those fighting for themselves.

From the time I was 20-25 years old, I was very optimistic. Truly believing that the world would sort itself out and that what’s right will prevail, but that’s not necessarily the truth. It feels like the older I get, the more “woke” I am about how things work.

I’ve been burned a few times. I’ve written a few posts on that.

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Dealing with Toxic Work Culture

From friends to work to even my landlord now. They’ve all burned me. When it comes to benefits, money and status, a sense of doing what’s right goes out the window.

I came to realize that there are people who will only interact with you when it benefits them financially, politically or socially. It was a hard pill to swallow, to realize that there were a lot of people who were disingenuous.

But I grew up.

And sometimes when I’m looking at a situation, I now think how can I profit from this, how can I benefit? I hate to admit it but I’m becoming one of those people who are selfish, egoistic and greedy. It’s almost like I can’t help it. Intrusive thoughts enter my mind like, if you don’t take advantage, someone else will or you have to take your share of the pie.

I’m ashamed because deep down I know these thoughts are wrong. I’ve grown to distrust other people to the point that I’m becoming untrustworthy and I hate that.

Am I growing up and becoming less naive? Or am I becoming jaded and callous?

If the young and optimistic version of me met 30 year old me today what would she say? She’d say I’m becoming everything she hates about this world and that I’ve given up. But fighting to keep my integrity and resolve to be an upright, unselfish human being sometimes feels like swimming against an impossible current.

I can count on my one hand the amount of people outside of my family who I respect for their character. Everyone else would easily resort to dishonesty if they knew they could benefit from it.

Maybe that’s why I have no friends… I just can’t accept a friendship that’s false.

So what to do?

I still think that being a good person is important. I want to hold on to that childish hope that as a human being we can care for the good of others without gaining anything for ourselves. Without even a few good people in our society, we’d be living in a literal hell where society is built on bullshit, lies, deception and selfishness.

The truth is I’ve met people with integrity and I hope others can look at me and see that I aim to be a person of good character as well.

So hopefully the child I knew isn’t as disappointed as I feel in myself sometimes. As I aim to be a person who’s better at standing up for what’s good and right for its own sake, I need to learn to not have such high expectations of other people.

Integrity and character matters because at the end of the day that’s all we have.

Check out my other posts

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Why I Started Blogging

I actually started blogging in 2012, I was running an Amazon beauty business and kept a blog on the side as a way to promote. I had learned about SEO, online ads and how to put together a website through WordPress. When I started blogging it was surprisingly easy.

It was a beauty blog and I would write reviews about the products. People would find my blog through SEO and follow. It was slow going and there would be days when I would get 0 views and other days I’d get 20.

I learned everything I needed to do and yet I gave up too early. In 2012, I had prenatal depression and in 2013, I had acute postpartum depression. I just didn’t have the motivation to keep up with it, even though it was showing signs of success. I quit my blog. So I forgot about my blog for a few years and even went back in 2015 to make sure I closed my old blog out and shut it down. I couldn’t stand the thought of my failed blog sitting in the blogosphere and languishing. I had lost my motivation for blogging.

So I stopped writing for a bit and focused on what made me money for some time, real estate.

But writing was never far from my mind, I always went back to it as a way to cope with my hard times and secretly I wished to make a living off of blogging. One can only hope.

I’ve written a few posts on my current job and how miserable it has made me at times.

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The thought of working there and until I retire at 65 seemed too daunting. I can barely make it through a days work, let alone several decades of working. I long to work for myself and be my own boss. And more than anything, I long to be able to spend time with my children and family. But what kind of job would let me do that? How would I be able to put money and food on the table?

My thoughts went back to the time when I wrote my first beauty blog. If I had kept up with it, chances are I would still be doing that full time at this point. I’m literally kicking myself for quitting. But there’s a quote that I love, “The best time to start was yesterday and the next best time start as now.” So even though I messed up by quitting too early, I could still start again and build another writing portfolio. Hating my job actually inspired me. So I picked up everything I learned with my first blog, and began rebuilding with a second one.

It’s been challenging. When I was writing my beauty blog at 22, I didn’t have money to invest in my blog. What I did have was time to write and spend on it. But now at 30, I’m literally trying to scrape time together to pull out a 1000 word post. My husband needs me, my children need me and there’s housework waiting for me.

Right now I’m on maternity leave so I’m home all the time but what happens when I go back to work? I’m praying that I have the motivation to keep this up because this is really what I want to do and I’m already strapped for time.

My mother is only getting older; I wonder what I will do when she needs help getting around the house and running basic errands. I dream of a life where I’m writing full time and can be there for her. I look ahead to the future and I want to see a life where my work is flexible. My children are getting older and they’ll want to go to do after school programs, play dates with their friends and school trips. I’m going to miss all that because I’m working and commuting a hell of a lot.

My work continues to motivate me to write, like most jobs it’s always changing and trying to be more productive. Now it’s my compensation they’re trying to change by adding another employee to take a cut of the commission pie. It has me thinking that nothing is really secure in this world and I need to find alternative ways to supplement my earnings. It feels so demeaning that I’m doing a great job and seeing my earnings slashed because upper management wants more productivity for less.

So blogging gives me hope. Hope that I can change my life, rely less on my job and be happier. It allows me to do something I love- write! And best of all I get to connect with other writers and people who love to read.

Though there are days I get like 5 visitors and it seems like I’m writing to myself, I hold out hope that I’ll find a clan that appreciates and finds my writing helpful.

So I’m in this for the long haul. With the good and the bad. Even when I don’t have time, I’ll carve it out. Because I need to have this hope that blogging can change my life.

Check out my other posts

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Help! My Husband Doesn’t Help Around The House

I like to visit relationship forums to give advice and share thoughts on marriage. I don’t know why, I think I like to make sure my marriage is on the right track and see what areas we can improve. It also helps to see how others manage their struggles and succeed. So far we’ve been able to avoid financial issues and dead bedrooms.  However a husband who who won’t clean remains an a problem for most women.

This is the one reoccurring issue we have that I do see on the forums: the problem of having one spouse who cleans thoroughly and is obsessively clean versus the other who maybe isn’t as active on that front.

To name Jenny and Steve as an example. Jenny is great, she’s able to clean the whole house and maintain everything. She’s very organized but she so frustrated with her husband Steve. Steve is less detailed and often leaves cups out on the counter, always needs a reminder to put dishes in the dishwasher, forgets to take out the trash and leaves the laundry right outside the hamper. She’s tired of telling Steve what to do and wishes he could just take initiative himself.

The responses to that kind of question would usually sound something like:

“Your not his mother, he needs to clean after himself”

“Seek counseling, there a lack of communication”

“It’s not right he treats you like a slave, you’re both adults and he needs to act like one.”

In Steve’s defense, I am Steve.

I’m the more cluttered one in my marriage.  I would be labeled as the lazy spouse. My husband is constantly getting annoyed at my lack of organization, the fact that I’m not naturally disposed to being neat, and my worst offense, leaving my clothes inside out in the hamper. One of our biggest fights was over the state of my laundry. It was so bad, I needed to take the night away from home to cool down.

I like to think I’m not some sort of woman-child and that being an adult doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re hundred percent tidy all the time. I don’t believe that housework, chores, and cleaning should be the basis for marital fights let alone divorce and separation. And yet somehow it is.

You see I’m just not that type of personality that obsesses over every single piece of dust in the house, takes pleasure in emptying out the garbage or making sure the house is like a spread from Housekeepers Magazine. I don’t get excited going through the cleaning aisle deciding what to get that will be tough on grease. I’m not good at playing hostess and cleaning up after everyone at the party, and I’m definitely not great at cleaning every nook and cranny in my apartment.

My issue with cleaning goes way before I was married anyway. My mother was perfect at keeping a home. Everything had its place in the house and if you made a mess you would hear it and maybe even feel it from the slipper she used on us. I never understood why my parents stressed when they had to clean the house. As a child, all I wanted to do with was play or be outside. I was often stuck inside every Saturday while my parents broke their backs maintaining their home. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When they were cleaning they were like Mr Hyde, manic and crazy over anything that got in their way. They also used cleaning as a form of punishment. “Oh yeah you didn’t do your homework? I guess your cleaning both bathrooms this weekend!”

So yeah I have a weird relationship with cleaning, nothing triggers me more than someone nagging about me needing to clean. I’m an adult now, I should be able to live as clean or filthy as I want.

The truth is that even if I did make an effort, it would be met with derision. Either that I’m not cleaning fast enough, in the right order or using the cleaning supplies correctly. Apparently the kitchen is the last area you tackle. So I purposely let him go through cleaning weekend on his own now, he’s too particular to please.

But I think my husband has gotten used to my cleaning challenged self. We’ve taken a divide and conquer type of approach to it because we both recognize we have different strengths in our relationship. I’m very particular about our finances. I’m budgeting every week, deciding how to allocate funds, telling him where where to stop his overspending (his vaping), and planning for savings. I also make sure we take care of our health, make all the doctor appointments and cook 50% of the time.

So thankfully, I’m not a complete waste of space in this relationship.

For those of you struggling in terms of who shares the housework load I’d say give the slacker a little credit and room. We aren’t adult children taking advantage, but people with a different set of priorities, talents and strengths.

Household tasks shouldn’t be the reasons why relationships end, but surprisingly they are. Chances are you don’t have a selfish husband who won’t clean, more like a partner who just doesn’t have that kind of strength.

Couples counseling is another way to find a middle ground on such a tumultuous topic.

And if all else fails, just save yourselves the headache and get a cleaning service. No shame in that game.

So to Jenny and Steve, I hope you’re able to work through this difference, worst case, just hire a cleaning person, and keep both your relationship and your sanity.

Check out my other posts on relationships and marriage!

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Tags: lazy spouse, husband doesn’t help with anything, should a husband help with housework, sharing chores, household chores, benefits of cleaning service, how to get spouse to clean.

How To Stay Motivated And Keep Your Goals

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Lately I’ve been going through a slump. Like I haven’t been falling behind and I haven’t been getting ahead. I used to be so motivated in college, I even graduated a year early. I graduated college in three years with top grades. It seemed like everything was going to pan out and for the most part everything did. But after college I’ve kind of been worn out.

Life gets to you after a while; with jobs and relationships that fall apart. And even though it’s not where you imagined you’d be, you finally settle someplace comfortable.

Sometimes I miss being in college and feeling like the whole world was in front of me. It made me self  motivated and kept me going. Now that my life has settled with kids, a husband and a semi career, I find it harder to keep that positive energy I once had. Yet you hear stories of people pushing themselves to the limits. You see people going to school and graduating valedictorian while raising three kids; climbing Kilimanjaro and  Everest in the same year; running an ultra marathon.  I look at those people and realize I need motivation.  How can I get the motivation to take my life to the next level? How do I maximize my potential so that I’m getting all I can out of life?

Here are my fail proof tips on finding motivation and how to make goals/dreams a reality!

1) Make A Schedule

This seems so obvious but making a schedule and sticking to it is harder than it sounds. Your schedule needs to align what you’re trying to accomplish. If you’re a salesperson, you might schedule more time trying to prospect leads vs doing paperwork vs organizing your office.

Your schedule should optimize your time so that the most rewarding tasks get prioritized and the least productive ones aren’t but are still tended to.

I absolutely hate prospecting leads but it’s what will give me the biggest return for my effort, so I make sure that I do that every day, no matter what’s on my plate.

2)Break Up Goals

Nothing is more demoralizing than having what seems like an impossible goal. But unless you are trying to defy the laws of physics, like turning a flower into a rock, no goal is truly impossible. Difficult, yes. Impossible, no.

One way to manage larger than life goals is break them up into smaller goals. Reaching 400 blog posts has been one of my larger goals and sometimes it feels impossible, I’ve only written 73 posts, but my goal has been broken up into smaller “just finish one post at a time” goals. When I’ve focused on how far I am from reaching my 400th post, it’s so discouraging. When I think “I just need to do one more entry or 2 entries a week” it seems more manageable.

3)Be Consistent

This means showing up and putting in the work. Don’t put in part time hours and expect full time pay. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. If only it did.

Stick with things even when it gets hard. I took a 6 month hiatus from this blog, mainly because it was getting daunting and I wanted to pursue something else. And it’s OK to take a step back once in a while to gain perspective but for those wanting to take their lives to the next level, you’ll need to show up each and every day and get things done.

4)Work With The End Goal In Mind

Know why you’re doing it! It’s so easy to get side-tracked and start comparing yourself to other people. Or start worrying about the wrong things. So often people want to do things for themselves but halfway through they start worrying about what other people think.

For me, my job is about earning money for my family, getting benefits, and having stability. I’ve written a few posts on how hard and negative the environment is. I need to keep my motivation at work.  At the end of the day, I need to look past the petty coworkers, the rude bosses, and the unreasonable clients. The end goals is to pay off the loans and gain a bit of savings before I can move on. A lot of people lose sight of their end goal and let the small stuff run them out of their jobs before they can reap the benefits.

5.  Push Through Setbacks

No matter what you do, there will always be setbacks. Two steps forward, one step back.

It’s how you handle the setback that matters. You could be saving for months then have your car breakdown. Then have spent $1500 to repair it and have that feel devastating because it took you so long to save. On one hand, you spent months worth of savings in one shot, on the other hand, you had $1500 cash handy and didn’t have to go into debt to take care of that expense. A person lacking motivation might say, “what’s the use of saving if I can never get ahead?” A person with motivation will just pick themselves up and start the savings again.

When faced with a major obstacle, just remember that it’s expected. In some cases, setbacks can help you grow and find ways to be more efficient or help you learn a lesson to avoid repeating the same stumbling block.

6. Block out the negativity

The most well-meaning people like to give advice and sometimes that advice is unwelcomed negativity. How many times did I had friends or family tell me you can’t do this or that, mainly in regards to my self employment. Or that I need more stability at the expense of my own goals. If you hear that enough you start to believe it.

When dealing with naysayers you’ll have to either avoid them or straight up tell them where they can go. Nothing should be getting in your way when it comes to keeping your motivation. They say birds of a feather flock together, so if your friends and family are telling you that you can’t do something, you’re going to believe that.

I would also recommend keeping positive and motivational posters at your work or on your desktop/phone to keep you in the right mindset.

7. Build a Support Network

And that brings me to my last point, once you’ve removed all the negativity surrounding your goals you’ll need to find a group of people who support you.

If it’s not your friends and family then you’ll have to find people who are trying to accomplish the same thing as you and can help either coach you or give you the moral support you need. I’m a big fan of Facebook groups, Reddit, Twitter and general social media to help find other people who share your same interests.

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These may sound like easy things to do but mastering all 7 and being consistent day after day, month after month, and year after year is harder than you think. The key is to take it one day at a time and implement these tips in unison.  This is essential to set up goals for yourself

If you’re able to master this, you can watch your life change and your business flourish because putting in the time and work is all you need.

 

CHECK OUT MY OTHER MOTIVATIONAL POSTS AND SUBSCRIBE!

 

Organize Your Mind: How To Be More Productive With Your Day

The Power Of Change

The Power Of Positivity

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