7 Signs That He’s A Fuckboy

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Fuckboy. My personal definition is that a fuckboy is a guy who’s just fucking around with your feelings and is only interested in sex.

This is the millenial’s term for player, playboy, Casablanca, womanizer, etc. These types of men have been fooling women since the dawn of time with promises of sweet nothings and a trail of broken hearts in their wake.

I have no idea how these guys get so many women to fall for them and I have no idea why so many women find them attractive, but fuckboys seem to always be able to move on to the next one before we even had time to shed a tear.

I dated a fuckboy once, it was both the most terrible and most fun relationship I had ever had. Of course it ended in drama and flames but it was what it was in the end. Fuckboys never stay. I dated one because I was naive and foolishly thought I could change him. I mean, if he could change, he wouldn’t have been a fuckboy.

Here Are The Tell Tale Signs Of A Fuckboy

 

  • Has A Lot Of Women Who Are His Friends

They’re like a circle of hens but this is a huge red flag. Usually when you ask about them, he’ll tell you don’t worry, they’re just friends. Maybe they are, but with fuckboys, their next partner is usually just waiting in the wings for their chance. I don’t know what it is about them, but they always have a circle of female friends. The thing is that these ladies won’t be friends with each other, he and his friends will be the only link.

If you see him flirting, no, you’re not imagining it and you’re not being insecure and crazy.

  • Had A Lot Of Dating Experience

The guy I dated lost his virginity at 13. Like, what the hell! A lot of fuckboys start their dating experience early so that by the time most girls hit the dating market between 18-25, they already have a leg up on you in terms of experience. Ever notice that they already know what to say and do to get your trust and interest?

On top of that, they start early, but they never stay with one girl that long. The guy I was with claimed his longest relationship was 2 years but in the grand scheme of life, that’s not that long. That’s just long enough for the honeymoon phase to wear out. And he had lost count of his partners. That really should have been red flag number 2. If you’re 22 and lost count of your partner’s, there’s something REALLY wrong.

  • Love Bombs You

He’s obsessed with you in the beginning. Everything is amazing and you can’t believe you met a man who could treat you this good. Usually this is coupled with flattery and compliments. He’ll take you on exciting dates and get you gifts. He might say things like, “I’ve never met anyone like you before” or even use the “L” word to get you to fall in love with him.

This part of dating a fuckboy is the most addictive. Like a heroin addict chasing the first high, you’ll keep looking for the treatment he gave you in the beginning.

  • Hot And Cold

Which brings me to my next point, you’ll find the periods of cold shoulder unbearable.

Why doesn’t he text me like he used to?

Why is he suddenly being secretive with his phone?

I feel like he’s distant…

What can I do to fix this?

These are the thoughts that will race through your mind as your fuckboy starts to make his way out to “greener pastures.”

If you’re lucky, his behavior might get hot again to dates that involve 3am booty calls or dates that are exclusively spent on your dime.

  • All His Guy Friends Are Single And Fuckboys Or Fuckboy Wannabes

Like attracts like and a mega fuckboy is very likely followed by other fuckboys or fuckboy wannabes.

These other guys are going to be approving of your fuckboy’s bad behavior, thus keeping him from being the good partner you wish he was.

The wannabes aren’t nearly as bad and might even make for a good shoulder to cry on when your fuckboy fucks you over. But these guys live by the “bros before hoes” mindset so I wouldn’t count on it. They’re more likely to cover for him while he’s out picking up other girls and you’re at home waiting for his text.

  • Loves To Club And Party

Your fuckboy and his fuckboy posse are definitely club lovers. That’s honestly probably where you met him in the first place. They’re a lot of fun to party with but the party doesn’t stop just because he started dating you. Chances are you’ll need to keep up with his party party lifestyle every day of the week or be concerned about the other ladies he could be meeting without your watchful eye.

When you tell him you don’t like when he goes to clubs without you, he’ll turn it on you and call you controlling.

If you’re a gal looking for the fuckboy experience, look no further than your local club. The nightclubs are teeming with them.

  • Is Into Status Symbols

I never met a fuckboy that didn’t wear heavy cologne, drive a car he couldn’t afford and drop all his money into brand name shoes, belts, clothes and sunglasses.

I guess that’s one of the things that attracts women to them. Women love a man who can dress and presents himself as someone successful. The fuckboy is not without a high view of himself and is very capable of giving off a false impression of success by surrounding himself with status symbols.

Most likely he views his sexual conquests as status symbols also. The fuckboy, lacking any self confidence or self-awareness, seeks outward symbols of value that he attaches to his own self worth. He’s constantly looking to hook up with the hottest girls because it makes him feel like he’s hot. And if you can’t fill his this role of being his human status symbol, don’t expect him to stick around.

———————–

These fuckboys are just playing games and aren’t worth the hassle of a broken heart. These tips are from every fuckboy I met and dated.

Changing a fuckboy into a man is impossible, many women have tried but his final destination is bachelorhood with a dog to keep him company.

So my advice to all the women out there reading this is to drop those fuckboys. If you’re reading this and thinking, “y’know what, this sounds like __________. This sounds exactly like him,” then drop him!

Trust me, save yourself the heartache and find yourself a quality man for long term commitment.

 

Check Out My Other Relationship Posts!

Dear Single Friends, This Is Why You Are Still Single. Love, Your Married Friend.

What It’s Like to Marry Your Soulmate

Why Dating Apps Suck

My Favorite Dating Book: Why Men Love Bitches

How To Get A Guy To Commit Without Pressure And Fall In Love With You

Why Dating Apps Suck

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My close friend and I agreed to meet at the local coffee hub in my hometown. Sip This is eclectic, with someone playing guitar in the background and a string of lights and colorful dangling paper lanterns overhead. It’s nice to be able to catch up with Jessica. We’ve been so busy with our day to day lives and are lucky to meet up maybe 3-4x a year. It always feels like no time has passed.

As we sit down over a cup of joe, I can’t wait to hear what’s going on in her life. She has been single for a few years and was enjoying being back on the dating scene. A majority of what she was doing to meet guys was using online dating apps. We giggled as we went through her dating profile. I comment that she looked great in all her dating profiles- she really did. Overall, she was having fun dating and meeting new guys.

“Can I swipe for you?”

I was curious. I was married before the whole Tinder dating thing exploded. Besides, I already had an idea of what kind of guy she likes.

She hands over the phone and we huddle around it while I start reviewing profiles.

Profile after profile I swipe left. There’s a guy with his shirt off, there’s a guy surrounded by other girls in his pics, and there’s a guy who’s obviously just not right for my friend judging from his request for open relationships. Finally after swiping left endlessly, I find a guy that looks like a winner.

“Oooh, how about this one, he looks like he has a job. And is kinda cute!” I said excitedly. The app didn’t give me much to work with. Actually, he looked a little like her last serious boyfriend. I figured she’d be attracted to what seems familiar.

“Ew, no!” She rolls her eyes, “I’m glad he works, but that’s not the only criteria.”

“What’s wrong with that guy? His profile seems genuine. You could message him and get to know him,” I said, maybe if talk him up she would at least give him a chance. I was starting to get tired, we had been swiping left for like 15 minutes and we weren’t getting anywhere.

“You can swipe right all you want; but at the end of the day, I’m eventually going to have to sleep with him and if I’m not attracted to him, why bother?”

I look at her incredulously, ” You don’t have to sleep with them right away! You’re just getting to know them! And anyway, sometimes it takes time for attraction to build. It doesn’t always happen immediately.”

“I know that! But I just hate being the person to end things. It’s so awkward. And if attraction doesn’t grow after a few dates, I’ll have to end it.”

“…so you would prefer if guys broke up with you?” I was still very confused but decided to drop it and keep swiping. I didn’t want to get her upset. After all, I was already married. I needed to get off my high horse and stop judging her; dating is hard.

But it had me thinking of how ineffective online dating apps really are. I mean, it felt like a game, not too different from Pokémon Go. Gotta Catch Em All but this game was more like gotta swipe em all.

The interactions were too superficial. We spent literally 2 seconds looking at a guy to swipe left on him. She could at least read his profile to see what he had to offer. But I imagine this is how millions of app users go through profiles, swiping aimlessly left without looking at more context beyond the first profile picture. I could see why people might catfish scheme; if they don’t present themselves in the most attractive way, they’ll never get any messages. If you knew how to play the game, I’m sure you were very successful.

And all the expectations! I knew people expected sex after a handful of dates but I guess on Tinder and other dating apps that expectation comes sooner? It was causing Jessica to change how she was using the app because if she didn’t have sex with a guy after a few dates, it was going to be a whole awkward conversation. I mean, what happened to the whole courting process? The excitement of dating was not knowing if the other person liked you or whether you would have sex. Sex wasn’t automatically expected.

…Or maybe it was and I just never noticed.

Still, there was also a sense of endless dating options. We were swiping for about 40 minutes. We must’ve went through at least 200 profiles and the great options seemed endless. That’s the paradox of choice, you believe that you have so many choices that you can’t choose any of them,there’s always something better around the corner. Why should Jessica choose one of these guys right in front of her when she could just keep swiping left and possibly find the perfect man? It’s hard to let go of so many options and just choose one.

Overall, I felt like if I had to use those apps to find a date, it would just feed my narcissism. I know that sounds terrible, but we’re all a little narcissistic. We like knowing that other people like us, having someone like your profile pic or swipe right to message you feeds that narcissism. It would just reiterate the want and need to be liked. I don’t feel like the online dating apps actually help people meet the loves of their lives; more so, to feed their narcissistic tendencies.

So between having too many options being told you’re wonderful all the time and all the expectations associated with online dating it just seems stressful and a lot of work. It was interesting to get insight on how online dating is but at the end of the day I’m telling my friend not to put all her eggs in one basket there are other ways to date, including: referred by a friend, good old meeting people in public and through your work environment.

I also told Jessica she should start dating multiple men at once and so she can give more men a chance and get to know them. The men she was talking to seemed flakey.

Even though there are undoubtably people who find their match online, it seemed like a lot of work. But then again, so is being married with children. I guess we pick our poison. For me, I’m glad I’m married so I don’t have to cherry pick a man out of a sea of options, likes, swipes, and confusing social expectations.

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