My Advice For New Parents & Preparing For A Baby

Preparing for a baby Advice for new parents

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Right now I have a 4 month old at home but this isn’t my first rodeo. Preparing for a baby is rough and honestly a lot of people just have no clue what to expect. You think you know, but you have NO idea. So I thought I would share my advice for new parents & new moms.

Sometimes I see a pregnant woman at work and when I tell them I’m a mother of two kids they kind of look to me hoping I can tell them what to expect when preparing for a baby. Honestly, lol, I don’t want to scare them with the truth, so I usually give them some sort of watered down answer and spin it positively. “Oh, it can get intense, but it gets easier.” Today, however, I’m going to be 100% honest with you guys: THIS SH*T IS NOT A WALK IN THE PARK. Not even for second timers. But at the same time, it’s worth it. The first year baby struggles are worth it.

I recently wrote a post on my postpartum experience and decided to expand on that on what to expect as new parents. With my first daughter, we got sooo much stuff from the baby shower it was like I was swimming in baby gear. It was also much that most of it I didn’t even get to use because the baby was growing too fast.

My first pregnancy was honestly unexpected so we were just living day to day trying to figure it all out. The second time around there were some things I wish I did to prepare for the baby.

If I could do it again here are some advice I would give for new parents preparing few a baby:

1) Rest the week before you’re due or when your body is telling you

I made the terrible mistake of working all the way up to my labor. It was 3 in the morning and I was texting my boss and my coworker that I was going into labor. On one hand, every single day of my maternity leave was used on bonding with my daughter, but after a whole pregnancy on my feet and birthing a 9lb baby, preparing for a baby, I was done!

But the fun had just begun, and taking care of a newborn is an around the clock job. A job I was physically unprepared for because I had used ALL my energy working at my job during the pregnancy, and then whatever energy I had left went towards the delivery. Afterwards, I literally felt like I was hit by a train.

It would have been more productive for me to take a few days off and rest. Then the postpartum period wouldn’t have hit me so hard.

2) Just focus on baby and yourself after the birth

Seriously. I let a few things slip during the pregnancy. I could barely get up off the couch during my 8th and 9th month. I kept saying, “As soon as I give birth, I’ll be more mobile and able to get stuff done.”

That was a huge delusion. Once I gave birth, I was physically drained from giving birth to my 9 lb. miracle. I had to nurse her around the clock too. And yet, I didn’t listen to my body and I still pushed myself to take care of my other daughter like I always do, cook, and clean the house. I was doing this LITERALLY the week after giving birth.

I listened to my mother in law who looked around my house one day with my sink full of dishes and toys strewn on the floor and said, “You know, I know you have a newborn and it’s a lot but you need to make time to clean up. A baby shouldn’t be living like this.” LOL Because she’s my mother in law, I bit my tongue on that one. Some side advice for new parents: Don’t let the inlaws parenting advice get to you.

So I doubled down on cleaning and taking care of my 6 year old, because isn’t that what mothers are supposed to do?

What I really needed to do was focus on the essentials like feeding the baby and resting whenever I could, because in the end it really did me no benefit. Straining myself and spreading myself too thin just resulted in a REALLY difficult postpartum period where I was moody, tired, depressed, anxious and paranoid.

So rest. You deserve it.

3) Get all the baby furniture and baby essentials in advance around 6-7 months.

We already had the baby furniture from our first daughter but the first time around we ordered it a bit early. I kind of just wanted the baby’s space to be settled right away. I didn’t want to worry about it at 8/9 months when my feet were swollen and I could barely stand without my back aching.

That ended up being a good decision. It made things way easier.

Around 7 months I had my baby shower and we literally were drowning in baby stuff in the apartment after that. But it was great to have everything so early. We spent some time organizing the house and decorating the baby’s room so that my first daughter could enter the world with her space already set up. We cleaned the room and prepared meticulously.

Second baby, not so much….

I ordered a few necessities on Amazon but since we already went through bringing a newborn home with our first daughter, we were a little cocky about our preparedness.

My husband scrambled the first two days after I gave birth to clean the house and get the last minute essentials. What I really needed him to do was to help me rest while the baby was fussing. Every 2 to 3 hours the hospital staff was waking me up. It went like this: take temperatures, check on the baby, bathe the baby, and wake me up in the process. I literally had no one sleep at all within the first 48 hours of giving birth. If we had prepared in advance better, he would’ve been able to be by my side and help during those crucial first few days.

4) Don’t let visitors overwhelm you

Everyone and their mother is going to want to see the new baby. And as much as you want to have everyone else meet him/her, there’s a lot to consider before you do.

First, you’re probably going to be super duper exhausted after giving birth. And if you had a c-section, then forget about it. You can barely stand up.

I also made the mistake of letting all of my and my husband’s family visit. But then I had to worry about my house looking kept, me looking half decent, and having enough food in the house, etc. It was ridiculous. Advice to new parents, don’t do that.

What I really needed was for someone to help me clean up around the house, but I was too prideful to ask for help.

It got to a point of exhaustion where I just had to say no. And honestly, I wish I started saying no sooner because I wouldn’t have had such a bad case of the baby blues if I was better rested and I wouldn’t have felt so stressed during my postpartum period.

5) Get a cozy space for nursing or bottle feeding

However, I didn’t forget to buy a boppy pillow. In my opinion, nursing pillows are the most necessary purchases to get. But I did forget how demanding nursing a baby was.

LIke OMG, some days I was nursing a full 8 hours. Holding, rocking, soothing this little ball of joy. I’m so glad I was able to build out a space that was comfortable because I was using that corner of the house ALL THE TIME.

Feedings take a majority of time with a newborn so having a place to keep a rocking chair or a nursing nook is super important.

Despite having set up this space and preparing for a baby, being hunched over a baby while nursing does a job on your back, so having your own comfortable space is a must.

6) Enjoy every day

Most importantly, enjoy every day. This is my most important advice for new parents. I blinked and my baby turned 4 months old. Every day is challenging but every day I have love in my heart for her.

The truth is that I recognize that this period in my life is fleeting. That these fertile years and years I have to be a mom to an infant and young child are slipping away with each passing day. The thought that these times will be behind me one day makes me sad.

So make the best of it. Even if things aren’t perfect, even if things aren’t easy.

Because in a moment, it’ll all be behind you and the only memories you’ll have are the pictures you took and the stories they’ll share.

Check Out My Other Posts If You Like My Advice For New Parents Preparing For A Baby.

My Unplanned Pregnancy Story

On Becoming Mother

On Becoming Mother

I was never one to want to be a mother.

I remember being a child and having no interest whatsoever in baby dolls. As a teen, my friends talked about that one day they would have children but I stood silently in the corner not really thinking about it. It wasn’t a priority for me.

I had other things I wanted to do first like go to parties, travel, be a successful business woman and maybe date the man of my dreams. I didn’t have time for children and the thought of giving birth to a child honestly terrified me.

So when I became pregnant with my first child at 23 years old, it was the scariest thing I ever did. And honestly it took me a while even after she was born to come to terms with the fact that I was now a mom.

Little did I know that being a mother would be the most meaningful and extraordinary thing I would do in my life. I didn’t really understand that right away. Forget traveling and forget being a CEO at some major company, by becoming a mom I was able to make huge a difference in someone else’s life. Jobs come and go, friends too but family is forever.

A lot of things had to change first. I couldn’t just go out with my friends anymore. And I couldn’t just take any kind of work to support my family. I couldn’t spend money on frivolous things either. I had to be smart; I had to think of what I needed long-term instead of what I needed for today.

Sidenote: fathers are pretty amazing too. But what they bring to their children is totally different. My husband is more of a rock. In addition to knowing that he loves them, he gives our kids a sense of confidence, stability and direction.

I’m more of the nurturing mother who stands by her children and comforts them when they cry.

Children are like little miracles. I look at my two month old child and she already knows me and can pick me out of a crowded room. That’s insane.

Looking at her big oversized eyes staring back at me as I breastfeed her gives me a sense of wonderment. Like, who will this little one become? What are her dreams?

My oldest daughter is six. She’s a little more complex since she’s starting to become self-aware about her emotions. So every little emotion she feels, whether it’s happy, sad, or embarrassed, she lets us know. It’s been strange to see her become much more independent, I feel like I just had her! But I know I’ll always be her mother and that I’ll always be there for her when she needs me. There’s a long road of life ahead of her so chances are that there will be plenty of situations where she will need me more than ever.

But six years ago, I had no idea the impact she would have on my life. I’m a better person. I’m stronger, more capable and aware. I can empathize and I know exactly how my child is feeling. Sometimes I can’t make all the boo boos go away, but I try.

My little one is just as amazing! I love the stage where they need you all the time for everything. It makes you feel so loved and cherished. She really is like a little doll. I forgot how beautiful they are when they’re newly born and rely on you for everything. My mother-in-law tells me that I hold her too much and that she’s spoiled but she’s two months old! And I don’t mind a spoiled two month old. Her smiles are pretty amazing too!

If I could have countless children, I would. That’s how much I love children and love my role as a mother.

If you had told 18-year-old me that I would love this role and that motherhood would come to defined me, she would’ve scoffed at you. She would’ve called me a sellout for picking the path that everyone chooses. What about all my dreams to travel, my desire to date, become a rich successful career woman?

Priorities change. And looking back, those goals were great but superficial. What I have now is a never-ending love, for my children and from them.

Being a mom isn’t the easiest path, in fact it has to be the hardest thing in the world to do and do well.

I never asked to be a mother but it was blessing brought into my life with my children. So to all the mothers who are struggling today to keep it all together, be proud, because you are doing something incredible.

Check out my other posts

Top Things To Buy For A Newborn Baby: Baby Product Review

My Postpartum Experience: What I Didn’t Expect

Help! My Husband Doesn’t Help Around The House

I like to visit relationship forums to give advice and share thoughts on marriage. I don’t know why, I think I like to make sure my marriage is on the right track and see what areas we can improve. It also helps to see how others manage their struggles and succeed. So far we’ve been able to avoid financial issues and dead bedrooms.  However a husband who who won’t clean remains an a problem for most women.

This is the one reoccurring issue we have that I do see on the forums: the problem of having one spouse who cleans thoroughly and is obsessively clean versus the other who maybe isn’t as active on that front.

To name Jenny and Steve as an example. Jenny is great, she’s able to clean the whole house and maintain everything. She’s very organized but she so frustrated with her husband Steve. Steve is less detailed and often leaves cups out on the counter, always needs a reminder to put dishes in the dishwasher, forgets to take out the trash and leaves the laundry right outside the hamper. She’s tired of telling Steve what to do and wishes he could just take initiative himself.

The responses to that kind of question would usually sound something like:

“Your not his mother, he needs to clean after himself”

“Seek counseling, there a lack of communication”

“It’s not right he treats you like a slave, you’re both adults and he needs to act like one.”

In Steve’s defense, I am Steve.

I’m the more cluttered one in my marriage.  I would be labeled as the lazy spouse. My husband is constantly getting annoyed at my lack of organization, the fact that I’m not naturally disposed to being neat, and my worst offense, leaving my clothes inside out in the hamper. One of our biggest fights was over the state of my laundry. It was so bad, I needed to take the night away from home to cool down.

I like to think I’m not some sort of woman-child and that being an adult doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re hundred percent tidy all the time. I don’t believe that housework, chores, and cleaning should be the basis for marital fights let alone divorce and separation. And yet somehow it is.

You see I’m just not that type of personality that obsesses over every single piece of dust in the house, takes pleasure in emptying out the garbage or making sure the house is like a spread from Housekeepers Magazine. I don’t get excited going through the cleaning aisle deciding what to get that will be tough on grease. I’m not good at playing hostess and cleaning up after everyone at the party, and I’m definitely not great at cleaning every nook and cranny in my apartment.

My issue with cleaning goes way before I was married anyway. My mother was perfect at keeping a home. Everything had its place in the house and if you made a mess you would hear it and maybe even feel it from the slipper she used on us. I never understood why my parents stressed when they had to clean the house. As a child, all I wanted to do with was play or be outside. I was often stuck inside every Saturday while my parents broke their backs maintaining their home. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When they were cleaning they were like Mr Hyde, manic and crazy over anything that got in their way. They also used cleaning as a form of punishment. “Oh yeah you didn’t do your homework? I guess your cleaning both bathrooms this weekend!”

So yeah I have a weird relationship with cleaning, nothing triggers me more than someone nagging about me needing to clean. I’m an adult now, I should be able to live as clean or filthy as I want.

The truth is that even if I did make an effort, it would be met with derision. Either that I’m not cleaning fast enough, in the right order or using the cleaning supplies correctly. Apparently the kitchen is the last area you tackle. So I purposely let him go through cleaning weekend on his own now, he’s too particular to please.

But I think my husband has gotten used to my cleaning challenged self. We’ve taken a divide and conquer type of approach to it because we both recognize we have different strengths in our relationship. I’m very particular about our finances. I’m budgeting every week, deciding how to allocate funds, telling him where where to stop his overspending (his vaping), and planning for savings. I also make sure we take care of our health, make all the doctor appointments and cook 50% of the time.

So thankfully, I’m not a complete waste of space in this relationship.

For those of you struggling in terms of who shares the housework load I’d say give the slacker a little credit and room. We aren’t adult children taking advantage, but people with a different set of priorities, talents and strengths.

Household tasks shouldn’t be the reasons why relationships end, but surprisingly they are. Chances are you don’t have a selfish husband who won’t clean, more like a partner who just doesn’t have that kind of strength.

Couples counseling is another way to find a middle ground on such a tumultuous topic.

And if all else fails, just save yourselves the headache and get a cleaning service. No shame in that game.

So to Jenny and Steve, I hope you’re able to work through this difference, worst case, just hire a cleaning person, and keep both your relationship and your sanity.

Check out my other posts on relationships and marriage!

The Biggest Red Flags In A Relationship

Marriage, Finances And Money: The Benefits And Pitfalls

Tags: lazy spouse, husband doesn’t help with anything, should a husband help with housework, sharing chores, household chores, benefits of cleaning service, how to get spouse to clean.

Top Things To Buy For A Newborn Baby: Baby Product Review

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This is my second child and I decided I wanted to just get the bare minimum when it came to buying the baby stuff.

Baby items are expensive and with my first daughter we had a big baby shower. I got tons of gear, half of which I didn’t even use. It was just sitting around my house collecting dust. Some of it, my baby didn’t even like, so I couldn’t use it. Now that I’m kind of a veteran in baby care, I know exactly what to get so I don’t end up with items to give away.

Here are my five top items for new moms

1)Ergo Baby Carrier With Infant Insert:

I got the Ergo Baby with my first daughter because I was just tired of hauling her around in my arms. A lot of people commented that they had their own carriers either a baby sling carrier or the Bjorn baby. I ended up with the Ergo Baby because I thought wearing your baby sticking in versus facing out was better. And it seemed easier to put on than a sling. The Ergo Baby, I believe is the best best baby carrier for six months and older unless you also get the infant insert. With my second child I bought the infant insert and was able to put her in the carrier right away. I would say I started around three weeks because her legs were just a little too small to put in any sooner. She was actually not that heavy to carry and she slept a lot the first three weeks.

Overall, I use it almost every day. Most of the time I don’t want to take the stroller if it’s too bulky, I’ll put her in the baby carrier. The stroller is really good for long walks or or outings like shopping at the mall. I like baby wearing for shorter outings or if I know I’m going somewhere where there won’t be a ramp and if there’s a lot of stairs. And my baby is pretty comfortable in there. She likes to burp, it’s a good way to burp your baby and she’ll fall asleep pretty easily.

 

Ergo Baby

2) A Baby Swing: Ingenuity Swing

So with both my children, I got a newborn baby swing. I forget which brand my first had but my daughter really liked it; so with my second child, I decided to get another one. This time I got the ingenuity swing. It’s really cute! It has multiple settings: six settings for speed, a little button for songs, a little light and a rotating mobile that the baby can look at. The actual seat of the swing can be removed and become a rocker. We’ve used it outside as a rocker and she fell asleep in it while we were having a party! The multipurpose aspect is great. It was a bit of a pain to put together but most baby items are for safety reasons.

Ingenuity Swing

3)The Sleepea Swaddle:

Created by Happiest Baby On The Block, this swaddle is amazing! This baby sleep pod immediately resulted in better sleep, it’s a miracle swaddle. I think the secret is the inside wrap, in addition to the outside wrap swaddle that you can zip up or down. Perfect if you need to change your baby, you don’t need to undo the whole thing. It’s supposed to be very snug, so just keep in mind that the small size will fit children up to about four months and then after that you’ll have to get a medium. My friend had referred this swaddle to me. At that point I was desperate, my baby wasn’t sleeping well and my husband and I were exhausted. Since then, I’ve recommended it to two other families and they absolutely love it! This is the swaddle to get your baby to sleep. A reminder, you’re supposed to stop swaddling once your baby starts to be able to turn over on his own. The medium size is good for bigger babies to feel secure but there are openings on each side so the arms can be out, so it’s safe for infants able to turn.

Sleepea

4)Carter’s 3 Month Old Onesie Pajamas And White Onesies:

Babies grow so fast! I found that the newborn onesies will shrink and get too small within two weeks, especially if your baby was born 7.5 lbs or bigger. Just jump to the three month pajamas. They’ll be a little big at first but your baby will quickly grow into them. They won’t really get too small until your babies are at the end of two or three months. Don’t even bother getting the fancy outfits like the skirts, the dresses or the little pants and onesies sets. Sure, they look great but your baby’s going to outgrow them quickly and they’re going to ruin them by pooping through them. Let friends and family shop for all the cute stuff or buy them secondhand because, trust me, I only used the fancy baby clothes once or twice to take a picture and then was never able to fit them in that again.

 

5)The Boppy Pillow:

This is great for if you’re either breast-feeding or bottlefeeding! Holding a baby with the Boppy pillow will help them fall asleep after they’ve fed. I bought this pillow with my first daughter and now with my second child I had to get it again because it’s just so comfortable for breast-feeding. The one I have has a slip cover, that’s the outside cover that you can take off and wash so if breastmilk or spit up gets on it, it can be cleaned. Totally essential.

Boppy

6)Diaper Gene

This is 100% necessary. I absolutely love the new Diaper Gene. Dirty diapers no longer leave a smell or stench, the Diaper Gene traps the odors. There are a lot of different brands for diaper disposal but I really love the diaper gene for the refill insert packs. The blue ring packs are just so easy to find. If you’re in a pinch, you can find them at any drug store, Target, Walmart, etc. The lesser known brands are just as good but when it comes to buying the refill bags, it’s more challenging to find.

Diaper Gene
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Overall, these are a must buy for those either having their first child or another one. I can’t imagine surviving the first year without them! It took me a lot of trial and error but my babies used and loved all these items!

Check out my other mommy life posts!

My Unplanned Pregnancy Story

My Postpartum Experience: What I Didn’t Expect

My Unplanned Pregnancy Story

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I wanted to share this story for anyone struggling with their pregnancy.

In 2012 I became pregnant. I was dating the father on and off.  In the past, there was some cheating in on his part. I had finished college but he hadn’t despite my pleas to be be more focused. Still, I loved him and saw a lot of good and charisma in him. Sexually, we had a few hiccups. I stopped taking the pill, I couldn’t find a prescription that didn’t have adverse side effects and it was was becoming too expensive for me. It was like $60 a month for it, and you needed to buy at least three months which was $180 upfront at the time. I fixed these hiccups with morning after pills on 3 different occasions; I had no idea what kind of effects it would have on my body longterm. One day we had another oopsies moment and I told my boyfriend, “I’m not taking the morning after pill. I don’t want to.” He agreed. I was worried about the effects these pills had on my reproductive system and knew I shouldn’t use them as a form of major contraception.

Lo and behold I become pregnant. Oh how I wished I took the morning after pill, I was not in a position to have a baby yet! I had just started a new career in real estate, I literally made -$6,000 in my first year and had tons of student loan debt. I had quit law school a few years ago due to cost and still had loans for my 1 year in law school. My boyfriend had seemingly no prospects, his only work history was as a delivery driver for a Mexican restaurant.

I told my boyfriend while he was visiting family in Puerto Rico. He was shocked but agreed to be there for me.

The first couple of weeks were incredibly tough. I was unprepared for the hormonal changes, and the question of how we were going to pay for a baby and all that’s required gnawed at me. I would have terrible mood swings. I cried a lot.

Things were not getting better and by the 2nd month the thought of abortion entered my mind. I did my research and started looking into it. The abortion pill was easier to digest, it was like a miscarriage. Easy. Happens all the time to women. But I needed to decide soon because I wouldn’t be able to do this after 3 months. After that, I’d be looking at more invasive procedures.  With the D&E procedure it was like, “how is this not murder?” I wrestled with the idea for a while but came to the conclusion I would always live with the abortion, the abortion would not erase this pregnancy.

I vowed not to tell anyone other than my boyfriend of the pregnancy until the period which I could take the abortion pill passed. I did not want to be influenced by anyone telling me I wasn’t ready. I was already feeling really concerned about that.

I started telling my parents when I was 4 months pregnant. I remember making the call and in the weakest, shakiest voice saying, “Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant.” There was silence as the other end and it was deafening. My mom hoped I would return to law school, she must have realized with pregnancy that wouldn’t be an option. I forget what she said but it was full of disappointment. I got off the phone with her as soon as I could and just cried. I cried a lot during the pregnancy.

I told my best friend who seemed sympathetic and tried to help me as much as she could. But I don’t think she saw this as a good outcome for me, in her eyes I was ruining my life.

I was working two jobs to make ends meet. I sold perfume at Macy’s for their holiday season and also worked at Target. I was barely making my $650 rent for my roommate share and we were going to need new housing soon for the new baby. This happened while I was 3-6 months pregnant.

My boyfriend still didn’t have a job but he was looking. We would get in constant fights. I blamed him for the pregnancy and for not being ready to support a child. I would throw tantrums and flip out. I also wanted him to marry me but he was scared to commit to me while I was so crazy from hormones.

We had a conversation I’ll never forget. He knew my parents were not happy with my pregnancy out of wedlock but he didn’t feel like he should marry me just because my parents thought so. I looked at him and said, “I don’t want to be with anyone else. You don’t have to marry me but just know that’s how I feel.” He told me he didn’t want to be with anyone else either. Even though things were not ideal, he had some pretty great qualities that I knew would make him a great husband and dad.

A week later he agreed to marry me. It was a quick 1 month planning, civil ceremony and family dinner type wedding. His parents helped cover the costs of the dinner. My parents still refer to it as a gunshot wedding. This was in December when I was 6 months pregnant. I remember running into a Davids Bridal with my best friend and just buying any dress that fit! The consultant was kind of in shock.

In January we got a big break. My boyfriend was hired at the local Casino for their surveillance department. One of my roommates saw an opening and mentioned it. Thank God he got the job. It was full time, paid $15.00 an hour and was an overnight gig. I prayed and hoped that he would get it since after the holidays the perfume work dries up.  All I had was the Target hours which also dried up to only 20 hours a week. I was getting too big and tired anyway.

Things were really starting to pull together and we needed housing for the baby. We started looking at small two beds and big  one beds. Every two bedroom was $1700+ and we did not have the funds for that. We looked around and miraculously an apartment showed up that was for $1400. It was only 2 blocks from where I was currently living. It was a house that was converted to a two family home. It was the smallest two bedroom I ever saw, could not been bigger than 700-750sqft but it did the job and was renovated. The owner was kind of sketchy. From what she told us, we didn’t know if she was the owner or the property manager and here we are trying to give her two and a half months rent. Pretty much all the money we had. We had no idea if this was legit or whether she would take the money and run. Thankfully, we signed the lease and and got the keys.

My husband got another job offer, this time for the TSA at the airport. It was amazing. He could work nights at the Casino and days at TSA. It was another miracle we needed. It was  going to be incredibly tough on him, working some days 16 hours running from TSA to the Casino. (FYI, we didn’t have a car so public transit it was). I’ll never forget that time, he knew how hard it would be but rolled up his sleeves and did it. I was 7 months pregnant when he was working those two jobs.

Meanwhile, I was keeping up with my prenatals and doctor appointments. I looked very young and would get dirty looks at the appointments from the older pregnant women. I knew they thought I was just another single mother. One of the lab technicians told me that she thought it was good when people decided to keep it. At the time I didn’t realize how many abortions happen in a year.

Things were finally beginning to settle down at 8 months, we were getting financially figured out, we had our own apartment for the incoming baby, we got the baby furniture as a gift from the inlaws, we got married, and had most of what we needed from a baby shower that my parents threw for me. They came around especially after they saw my boyfriend marry me. They were happy and felt more secure about the whole thing. Things were coming together.

My time at Target was ending and though I did not work enough to get disability from them, I was eligible for FMLA so could return to work there. They were kind and let me work the dressing room with a chair so I could sit during my final weeks.

The actual labor was very intense but because I was very active during my pregnancy, it was short. I was in active labor for 6 hours. I wasn’t managing the pain well and 3 hours in I begged for the epidural and was able rest after it was administered. The doctor was in surgery doing cesearian so all I had was a midwife, her name was Janet, the sweetest woman ever. I felt the need to push, pushed for 20 mins and had my baby! Janet gave me a kiss and a hug.  She showed me how to breastfeed. It was an incredible birthing experience.

After we got home with our baby, it took us bit of effort to get acclimated to the change in our lives. My husband was exhausted from working 2 jobs and 16 hour days. It was still hard. But we managed.

I started getting an itch to start working literally 4 weeks after giving birth. I thought I would start looking again and just get myself out there, after all it might take weeks for me to find a job. I responded to this craigslist ad for a receptionist position at a new rental building. The building was being constructed and they needed someone as reception for the 6 month project while they started leasing it. I was overqualified for the position as receptionist but saw it as a way to get my foot in the door. The woman I interviewed with was shocked to learn that I had just given birth and was a licensed real estate agent interested in the building. She was a mom of 2 kids herself and saw my drive as something worthwhile. She hired me on the spot. I surprisingly started at $33 an hour as their receptionist. The total compensation was supposed to be $40k for six months but the project was extended to 10 months and I made $70k during that time. This was a blessing from God because my husband was getting worn out from working two full time jobs for 3-4 months and now he could let go of one while I went back to work.  He could then help more with the baby.

That job I got was a godsend, it opened the door to so many other opportunities and five years later we are no longer financially insecure. Debt almost paid off.  We had our baby and just had our second one.

I wanted to share this story as encouragement to those families are starting out rough. Life is unpredictable. There’s no plan. Your plans will always be derailed because life brings challenges and surprises at every turn. All you need to do is support each other, take it day by day and always be open to every opportunity that comes to you. Life will sort the rest out.

Wishing all the young families many blessings.

Check out my other post on pregnancy

My Postpartum Experience: What I Didn’t Expect

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Tags:  unwanted pregnancy, accidental pregnancy, options, pregnancy counseling, dealing with unplanned pregnancy