How To Look Younger: Best Anti Aging Regimen For 30s

How To Look Younger Best Anti Aging Regimen For 30s

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!

Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

Millenials, we’re only getting older. I’m 31 now! It’s getting crazy, time just seems to start slipping by at this age with all the responsibilities and demands from life. My anti aging regimen for my 30s is not only going to keep the stress away but the wrinkles too, I mean, that’s my goal. “How to look younger” has been the question on my mind lately.

Looking in the mirror as a 31 year old millennial has been an act of self examination. One day the person looking back at me didn’t have that youthful gleam to her. My reflection started looking more mature, womanly and adult-like. But if I had to be 100% honest about it, I think I look WAYY better now than I did at 20. I now have the means to splurge on beauty and better fashion choices. And I’ll take looking womanly at 31 over looking child-like and barely legal at 20 any day.

For right now, I want to maintain this “womanly glow” for as long as possible before I start falling into the elderly look that most women start to get after 45. Looking younger isn’t necessarily the goal but maintaining this perfectly aged womanly look I have going on definitely is.

How to look younger at 30? How to look better after 30? How to maintain yourself in your 30s? As women I wish we didn’t have to care so much about our appearance but that’s society for you. If these are the questions you have in mind, here are some tips on how to look your best after 30:

Sunblock
When I was 22, I got my hands on this random sample of Bare Minerals powdered foundation. I loved it because it was super easy to use. I realized it had SPF 15 in it and I thought, hmm why would that be a benefit to add to makeup? I looked it up and I realized SPF had some major anti aging benefits. I thought, why stop at SPF 15? I want to be young forever! I picked up a bottle of Neutragena’s facial moisturizer with SPF 50 and I never looked back.

Having used sunblock on my face and body for nearly 10 years has made a huge difference. I don’t have smile lines or major forehead creases. My eyelids don’t droop beyond my eyelashes or look hooded. My tear troughs haven’t deflated much to the point where I need fillers.

This one trick of ALWAYS using high protection sunblock has definitely contributed to maintaining my looks in a way that is natural.

I remember back in my early 20s, my friends would literally bake at the beach for hours. I would lay next to them in the hot midsummer day sun and wonder, how the f*ck is this enjoyable, I feel like I’m suffocating under this heat. I rarely went sunbathing because I just didn’t enjoy it.

That was a blessing in disguise because my skin is pretty good due to lack of sun exposure.

The best thing women can do to maintain their looks is to start using sunblock in their teens and 20s. Once skin is damaged and starts to dull, you can’t really get it back without expensive laser treatments and even then the results aren’t guaranteed.

But sooner is better than later and if you haven’t started protecting your skin, now is the best time to do it.

Moisturizer
Too many people skip this step. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. On top of sunblock during the day, you need to moisturize your skin at least 2X a day. I recommend trying out a few different ones to see which one is most effective on your skin.

For those of you living in the tundra parts of North America, don’t let your skin get dry! This is almost as bad as sitting in the sun all day. Your skin will age more from the cold harsh winters. What you want is to keep a handheld moisturizer on you to keep your skin as nourished as possible.

I’m not saying you need the most expensive facial products to keep you young. I kept it simple and use this Olay eye cream that I feel is perfect for night time and even during the day. I know it’s an eye cream but I have no issues using it all over my face or using a concentrated amount on my problem areas. I’m pretty wrinkle free at 31, other than my crows feet (which I think adds character) so I would say this stuff works.

I also recommend a face mask. This Blue Lagoon face mask is pretty expensive, it’s $115, but it’s by far my favorite. I love this face mask because it only requires 5 minutes on your face. (I leave it on for 10). It’s not a FOREVER mask that you need to keep on to feel like it’s doing something. Then you wash it off and your face is literally GLOWING!!! For a cheaper result, I use this Korean collagen mask that I sit in for like an hour or until the liquid dries on my face LOL. The instructions say NOT to wash it off and sleep in it until the next morning. I think it’s like $30 for 5 masks, not too shabby either.

Less Makeup
In my teens and 20s I was obsessed with makeup. I had so many palettes, brushes and liptsticks. It was like a toy collection to me, I needed to have it all and learn how to blend, contour and make myself look as good as possible with makeup. I felt like it made me more mature.

But now in my 30s, my best anti aging regimen and advice is to lay off the makeup, I just can’t cake it all on. Foundation and concealer tends to find it’s way into my fine lines and creases creating this ultra, obvious, madeup look that looks bad. I just can’t wear several layers of makeup without it making me look older or tired. But I also can’t get away with no makeup without looking tired and older either. So it’s a bit of a catch 22.

I have a very simple routine now that works to keep me looking fresh and alive. I just touch on the essential makeup that I need to make the most difference in my face. That includes a good amount of under eye concealer, mascara, eyebrows, a pinch of blush and lipstick. No more blending in eyeshadow bullshit or contouring.

At the end of the day, youth is generally characterized by a fresh and natural face. Tons of makeup is not going to recreate that.

By the time you reach 30, less is more.

Fillers
Let’s talk fillers because now everyone and their mother is using fillers like Botox, Restalyn and whatever else they use now. Can fillers really make you look younger?

Yes they can. But in my opinion they should be used as a last resort. The thing about filler is that once you start using them, you kind of need to keep it up. You’re face will continue to age and depending on where you’ve gotten filler done it might even age faster due to the weight of the filler in your face or the trauma of injection.

If you want to make a measurable and immediate difference in how young you look, fillers are kind of like a cheat sheet. Quick and easy, but costly.

Less alcohol, more water
Alcohol is so delicious, I’m a big fan of wine, but it’s so dehydrating. If only we could drink water with the type of enthusiasm we drink wine with. This is something I’ve done for my 2020 goals.

No more alchohol or a very limited supply of it in exchange for water. Water is FREE, liquor is not. At 31, I’m tired of waking up with a headache after drinking a few glasses, like OMG why am I so dehydrated.

Drinking the recommended daily amount of water is known to help you look better and keep you healthier long term. This absolutely free beauty hack is ignored by so many women who are just too busy in their day to day to stop, take a break and drink some water.

Tasteful style
Finally, I’m at an age where I’m not dead broke. My 20s were a nightmare, I was literally counting pennies and constantly depressed and worried over my finances.

Now that I’ve finally “made it” as an adult, I can kind of relax my wallet and buy more tasteful clothes, shoes and accessories. I can finally invest in a haircut more than 1X a year and maybe get a hair treatment or two. These small added benefits definitely help you stay fresh and younger as you’re able to keep up with the trends easier.

Quality over quantity. I used to spend my money at Forever 21 and H&M to get the most bang for my buck. The clothes would shrink after the first wash or catch snags too easily. Their clothes never fit properly because they were made for the masses and quickly designed for the season and style of the month. Spending time buying clothes that FINALLY fit and building a closet that says I can dress well, is amazing and confidence boosting too. Looking and feeling good in what you wear will definitely keep you fresh, happy and youthful!

————————
Use all these tips and tricks CONSISTENTLY and you’ll find that you’re going to look AMAZING in your 30’s. They say 30 is the new 20 and I couldn’t agree more with it. I feel and look better than I ever have. I have more confidence in myself and a stronger understanding of who I am. And with these tips that I implement into my life, no one can ever guess my age accurately!

They say “youth is wasted on the young”…not if you’re still looking good in your 30s!

Follow if you like “How To Look Younger: Best Anti Aging Regimen For 30s”

Pretty Privilege: The Power Of Beauty

This is 30: Turning 30 Year’s Old

Dating in Your 30s vs Dating In Your 20s

Best Anti Aging Regimen For 30s

The Meaning Of “Always Be Hustling” & Why It’s Important

Always be hustling a second income

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!

Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

As a salesperson, I understand the importance, of constantly selling. The phrase “Always be hustling” is what comes to my mind. So when I took on my boring corporate job I realized quickly that this company: 1) only saw me as a number and 2) only cared about my output in terms of dollars. At first I didn’t realize the importance of having a second source of income.

The first two years I did everything… EVERYTHING to make sure I was recognized as a hardworking employee. When the company asked me, “please work 6 days a week while we work to hire extra staff,” I jumped at the opportunity to show off my hard work and determination. But in reality, there were things outside of my control that hurt me in my job: my manager was badmouthing me, my personality didn’t scream “go getter”, I was too quiet, etc… And once these perceptions were set in place, it was impossible for me to turn around.

Despite being a good performer and getting great evaluations, I was overlooked and my talents were unnoticed. When an opening came up that I could be promoted to, I wasn’t even considered. I learned the hard lesson in life that sometimes you just don’t get credit or recognition you deserve. And working hard for a company doesn’t always translate to dollars. It’s now very clear to me that even if you have a secure and reliable job, you should always have a side hustle. Life is just too unpredictable.

Then my worst fear came true, my company added another agent for us to share commissions with but didn’t adjust our base salary. Three people are now sharing a pie that used to only feed two. Now we’re squabbling over deals like our lives depend on it.

Moral of the story is that things can always change at work financially for you, the income you have today can easily be changed tomorrow if the company so chooses.

Good thing I have a side hustle going on. I’ve been reselling like crazy. Doing the whole buy cheap as possible at liquidation auctions and selling as high as possible. Poshmark, Mercari, EBay, Depop, Facebook Marketplace, Vinted; you name it, I’m on it.

My motivation comes from my favorite entrepreneur: Gary Vanderchuk. If you don’t know him, he’s hustled his way into millions. First with his father’s wine business, then building a content marketing and social media management agency. He does these YouTube episodes called “Trash Talk” where he goes to all these garage sales and finds things to flip. I felt inspired that a self made millionaire would be so humble to take the time to show how easy it is to make money online.

So here I am spending my nights and weekends trying to build something real so I can get out of my 9-5 job that only gives me a 3% raise every year, if that.

Today I’m here to remind you that IF YOU’RE NOT HUSTLING A SECOND INCOME, THEN YOU’RE ONE EVENT AWAY FROM POVERTY.

I don’t know about you, but even with a solid income and array of benefits, even with a partner who contributes to the finances: I still find it hard to save money for a house or save for retirement. THIS IS WITH ME BUDGETING AND TRACKING EXPENSES EVERY MONTH! It seems like I’m either going to have to work twice as hard now, or twice as long. Personally, I’d rather work twice as hard while I’m young and still have the energy.

I think about what if I lose my job? That’s easily a possibility. I mean, they’ve already cut into my commissions without remorse. What if my husband or I become disabled? Of course no one wants to think about these terrible scenarios but let’s be honest, tragedy hits families every day and then they have to figure it out.

For me, the biggest reason to have a side hustle is to save enough of my second income and create a barrier to protect my family from financial tragedy.

If I lost my job, it would only take a total of 3 months before I had to go in the red and start relying on credit cards. Having worked since I was 18, I just don’t find that acceptable at my age to feel that insecure. So here I am, trying to rub two dollars together and make a twenty.

You don’t necessarily have to resell to have a side hustle but I consider it to be a pretty fast way to build capital. Here are some other ideas on how to make money and always be hustling:

1)Uber driving
2)Tutoring children and babysitting
3)Blogging and monetizing the traffic
4)moonlighting and taking on extra shifts at work or a 2nd job bar tending
5)Social Media- becoming a content creator and monetizing the following once you reach 100K followers.

I like reselling because it’s flexible, easy and fairly cheap to get into. If you have a thousand dollars to spare, that can buy you a lot of inventory. And, if you’re smart, at least 200 pcs.

Side hustles aren’t meant to be glamorous. They’re meant to create financial buffers to keep you from ruin and help make a plan for the future. A lot of people make the mistake, because they make $25 or $30 an hour, of thinking that making less per hour at a side hustle as not worth your time.

That’s a huge mistake because even if you only make an additional $100 a week for your effort, that will easily translate to $5000 a year and over the course of 10 years that adds up to $50,000! I don’t know about you but I could use an extra $50,000. That would pay off the balance of my student loans and would be a sizeable enough down payment for a home. That kind of money can do a lot! Or, if you invest it wisely, it can grow even more!

Impatience tends to be the killer of dreams and keeps you from the “always be hustling’ mindset. For many, the thought of spending their nights and weekends building a business or saving some money is too hard of a commitment. Impatient people are too dependent on their guilty pleasure like reality tv, candy crush games and mindless social media scrolling. Seeing the long term game in life and playing to win long term will be the difference between living with wealth and living on the edge of poverty.

So I definitely believe that being a forever hustler is key to having stability, changing your life, meeting your financial goals and overall happiness. A healthy second income won’t buy happiness but it can definitely solve some problems. So always be hustling.

If you like “The Meaning Of ‘Always Be Hustling’ & Why It’s Important” Check Out My Other Posts!

Lessons On How To Be An Entrepreneur & Salesperson

Working For Yourself? Self Employed vs Employed

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

How To Build Your Self Esteem & Self Confidence

build self confidence and self esteem
build self confidence and self esteem

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!

Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

Self esteem. Most people don’t know how to build their self esteem and self confidence. And it’s tough, self esteem is kind of an abstract concept. Most people feel like they know what it is but they really don’t. It’s one of those ideals people constantly chase like- purpose, meaning, life, and goodness. Self esteem is probably the most valuable thing you can have and yet so many people don’t posses it.

So what is self esteem? And how do you build your self esteem?

Self esteem, by my definition, is a sense of confidence and belief in oneself that you are a person of value; a person worthy of respect and dignity. That you are a capable and independent person no matter what.

Let’s break down the concept further. What is esteem? What does it mean to hold someone in high esteem? Well, you’ll probably really respect that person, you won’t doubt them in moments when they give you advice and you might even want to be a bit like them. Self esteem is exactly that, but towards yourself.

A lot of people throw around that phrase but don’t really have it in themselves. Often times it’s confused with ego. But self esteem is different than ego. Ego is a version of ourselves that we imagine. Our sense of self. You can have an ego and no self esteem. You can also have self esteem and no ego. You can have both. But they are separate. Like I said, ego is the version of ourselves we imagine and self esteem is the complete respect and belief in oneself.

So what do you need to do in order to build a high self esteem? It’s not as easy as you think:

1) Avoid toxic people
This seems like a given but somehow toxic people tend to slither into our lives. They love to leech off the good energy of people with high self esteem and confidence. Usually in the form of a romantic interest. When you have high self esteem you tend to repel toxic partners (because you know better than to engage them) but when it’s low, the toxics will come in droves. It makes sense to avoid someone who devalues you, doesn’t respect you, pokes at your insecurities and overall is incompatible. Yet so many men and women end up with partners that thrive on keeping their lovers down and out.

By ending relationships that hurt how you see yourself, you are taking the next step to confidence and happiness. Because it’s impossible to be happy when someone you love is hurting you. It just doesn’t work if you want to build your self confidence.

2) Avoid situations that are emotionally harmful

This sort of ties in to topic # 1, if you’re avoiding toxic people you’re essentially avoiding situations that are harmful. But that’s not enough, there are tons of different situations you’ll need to avoid in order to maintain your sense of who you are and your value.

Somehow we’re also drawn to situations that seem either too good to be true or just give us too much hope. Disappointment is a huge reason why people lose their self-esteem. It could be something as easy as wanting a guy/girl to like you and finding out he wants your friend or standing next to your supermodel sister and feeling like the most monstrous person in the world when you’re actually really cute or dating a known player but still hoping you can change him. Or studying with the smartest kid in class, only to be left feeling dumb because you take too long to do the work. These sort of small not so serious situations will peck at your self-esteem and keep you from feeling as confident as you should be.

There’s also the issue with drama. I wish people were logical but we aren’t. We’re drawn to drama because it gives us a thrill or some sort of validation. It’s so important to avoid all drama and disappointment as much as possible and not put yourself in these emotionally charged situations because at the end of it all, the conflict will cause negativity towards yourself.

Think about the last big argument you got into…it wasn’t long until you started doubting yourself and wondering why you’re going through such a hard time. You started to question who you are and your value. The truth is, you can’t always avoid drama but, at the very least, you don’t have to seek it out.

3) Remember your strength

Sometimes when I’m feeling like life is impossible and too hard, I look back at what I’ve accomplished. I think of all the really hard shit I’ve gone through like my battle with achalasia or my unplanned pregnancy or the mold that infested our house. You see, I went through all that and it was stressful but I got through it.

Chances are there are challenges you’ve had to go through too. Remembering those obstacles in your life and drawing on that strength you had to get through them is a huge tool.

Looking at your past moments of perseverance and applying that to your future is one way to build your self esteem. Why shouldn’t you believe in yourself now when you’ve proven yourself capable time and time again? This is an easy way to build your confidence. It’s not really a fake it until you make it sort of self-esteem but more about giving yourself the credit you deserve.

4) Be your own cheerleader
It’s not always going to work out that someone will be rooting you on. In reality, there might be people in your life who are actively trying to tear you down.

Life is rarely perfect in that way and in these times you’ll need to know how to be your own cheerleader and believe in yourself when no one else does.

There was a girl in my high school that was always so negative. She had no knowledge on how to build self confidence. Every conversation I had with her was dreary and self-deprecating. She always complained about how nobody liked her, she was ugly, the teacher didn’t help her, her parents suck, etc. I tried to cheer her up and get her to think about the positives in her life but it never worked. After a while it was too draining and I had to distance myself. It just seemed like she enjoyed her own misery.

The point is to not expect others to lift you up but to do it on your own, even if you have to fake your own happiness for a little while. Self esteem isn’t something that can be built overnight but is something that’s built over time as you start to see yourself as worthy.

That friend, she had terrible self esteem and even though I was a friend who always was positive, it never helped. She needed to see all the positives in herself, for herself.

5) Accept who you are
Don’t be an apple wishing it was a pear, and don’t be a pear wishing it was an apple.

We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves but some of those things are unchangeable.

When I was younger, I used to wish I had lighter skin. Can you really change the color of your skin? Not unless you’re Michael Jackson.

My skin is the color of light milk chocolate and it’s a very nice complexion, but I lived in a neighborhood that was white and Italian so I wanted a fair complexion instead. Over time I learned to really love my skin, it hardly wrinkles and never gets sunburn. Imagine if I dwelled over my darker skin color, how unhappy I would have been?

For things you can’t change, you need to learn to live with it and love it. Your quirks, your imperfections, all of it. Accepting these things about yourself and even loving them will give you the mental room to feel positive about who you are and what you’re all about.

———————————————————-

I think the main point here is that most people aren’t born with a ton of self esteem. I would describe it more like a muscle you need to flex to strengthen.

What benefits are there to build self confidence? Tons, actually! You can finally do all those things you wanted to do in your life but were uncertain you could accomplish. You can ask that cute guy/girl out and not feel like their approval means everything and you can start living on your own terms and no longer feel chained to your insecurities. A person with high self esteem has the ultimate freedom.

So take it one step at a time, little by little your self esteem with find you.

If you like “How To Build Your Self Esteem & Self Confidence” Check Out My Other Posts!

Motivational Book Club: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
How To Be Charismatic & How To Be More Likable
How To Be Successful & Be Happy

How To Stop Being Petty & Learn To Be Happier

How To Stop Being Petty & Learn To Be Happier
How To Stop Being Petty & Learn To Be Happier

LIKE THIS POST? SUBSCRIBE TO MY MAILING LIST FOR UPDATES!

Keep This Blog AD-FREE, Become A Patron

I’ve been guilty of it, subtly putting someone down, nitpicking flaws, needing to have the last word as a futile effort to be “right.” It’s true, I have moments where I’m the asshole and most of the time I don’t mean to be…it just sort of happens. But I’m working on it. I really want to learn how to stop being so petty and learn to be happier.

According to Urban Dictionary (my main source of definitions for modern day lingo), petty means:

1)making things, events, or actions normal people dismiss as trivial or insignificant into excuses to be upset, uncooperative, childish, or stubborn.
2)A person who habitually overreacts.
3)A person who is purposefully childish with the intent of illiciting a reaction.
4)An immature over reaction in retaliation of an undesired outcome.

You get the picture, basically an asshole. Most of the time, I don’t mean to be this way, it’s usually a response to other people’s asshole behavior.

I think most of us are petty in our own ways. At work I often find myself absorbing other people’s negativity and then giving it back in petty, unwarranted comments. Life is so stressful, sometimes my capacity for stress bubbles over in pettiness. I need to really learn how to be happier and not so petty.

Here are some of the ways that pettiness can show itself:

1) Needing to get the last word

Have you ever spoken to someone or gotten into an argument and the other person always had a biting comment back? You might correct them or clarify politely and you’re met with a derisive unnecessary comment that really didn’t do much but get under your skin. With people who are petty in this way, you can almost always guarantee that there’s a biting comment around the corner, usually it’s something to put you down or or point fingers at you for some wrong doing. It looks like this:

“Marsha, can you please wash the dishes tonight. I feel so tired.”
“Of course I’ll do the dishes Jenna, it’s not like I have anything better to do than to clean up after you.”

Of course Marsha, is being a petty b*tch about washing dishes. She could have either said “yes” or “no, sorry I can’t,” but she had to give this underhanded comment that was totally unnecessary.

3) Nitpicking

Nitpicking is an obvious one, and kind of piggybacks on needing to get the last word. It’s a way of picking at someone’s flaws until they have nothing left but bareboned insecurity. People who have experienced nitpicking tend to feel very insecure around the person being petty, it often feels like they’re walking on eggshells.

I used to have a friend, honestly she was more of a frenemy, she would always make fun of little things “jokingly.” It was pervasive from what I wore, to how I ate, to what I said. She always said it in front of other people so they could get in on the “joke.” Little things like, “why are you wearing that, it’s too hot, you never know how to dress for the weather,” or “you eat too slow, everyone always has to wait on you,” or “look how forgetful Alex is”, she always needs to be reminded of when the test is.” After a while those kind of comments tend to strip you bare and leave you feeling like you’re nothing. It’s so much harder to learn to be happier, when someone is reminding you of all the ways you suck.

3) Superiority complex
I’ve seen this happen at work more so than anywhere else. Especially with bosses or more seasoned colleagues. Somehow the status of being more seasoned or a manager makes people petty as f*ck. These people are always reminding you that you are beneath them. Whether that’s objectively true or not, it doesn’t matter.

People who suffer from this type of pettiness rely on belittling you so that they always feel in control. They NEED you to feel like you’re beneath them so they can feel superior.

5. Stubbornness
I’ve been very guilty of this one. I can be intensely stubborn. ESPECIALLY when I feel like I want to have something my way. If I’m not getting my way, then I’ll go out of my way to be stubborn over the smallest thing just to give the other person some hell. Sure, I could compromise and meet in the middle, but then I’d have no leverage for what I really want. By being extra stubborn, in some ways, it gives me some wiggle room to negotiate something else. A “tit for tat” kind of deal.

This is actually a VERY immature way of negotiating and handling disagreements but who said I was mature? Being overly stubborn is a way that some petty people (me) passively can get what they want or get their revenge.

Here are the ways you can stop being petty:

1) Be the bigger person

Pride is a hard thing to swallow and at the root of all pettiness is a sense of pride. Pettiness finds a way to “one up” someone. By being a person that is above all that, it just proves you’re an emotionally mature person that doesn’t stoop to other people’s pettiness.

Trust me, I know how satisfying pettiness can be, especially when someone is being rude to you first. At the end of the day, holding your head up high and not lowering yourself to other petty peoples’ level will give you a sense of self confidence, assurance and petty-free pride.

2) Meditate

Sometimes you just need to take a step back from the situation. Meditation, prayer or whatever you want to call it on a daily basis will help calm your nerves and give you perspective on what’s important in life- and it’s definitely not pettiness. Life is about how to learn to be happier with yourself.

Next time someone gets under your skin, you’ll be able to have the calm clarity that it’s just not worth it and let their annoying-ness roll right off.

Even if you’re in the heat of the moment and someone is being totally obnoxious, it doesn’t hurt to take a few moments to breathe before giving a petty comeback. In those few seconds, you might be able to come to the conclusion that your petty comeback doesn’t do sh*t to resolve to conflict and actually adds fuel to the fire.

So take a moment, not everyone deserves your reaction, so stop being so petty.

3) Talk out your issues

Other times people might just get on your nerves and not even KNOW it, and if you don’t speak up but just jump to pettiness, you’re going to give the wrong impression. This is the way many communication issues arise. Someone says something rude and annoying, they’re unknowingly doing it and you just get triggered.

The key here is to talk it out. Mention that the behavior that triggers you is not ok and why you feel that way. Really make an effort to explain yourself. Some people will understand and stop triggering you and stop unknowingly annoying you. Others will scoff and say, “Oh, stop being so sensitive. It was only a joke.”

To those scoffing assholes, bring on the pettiness. It’s ok, as long as you gave them the warning not to trigger you. *wink*

4)Avoid your triggers

And if all else fails and you can’t get those annoying rude people to leave you alone despite telling them, you should probably just avoid them. That’s probably the easiest way on how to stop being petty and learn to be happier. Most of the time pettiness brings negativity into your life so half the time it’s not worth the effort.

Avoid the assholes and the people who are rude and crass. Avoid people who don’t respect boundaries and are just trying to get a rise out of you.

I’m a true believer in karma and bringing positive people into your life through positivity. So avoiding and cutting out people who don’t treat you the way you deserve and only bring out your ugly side sounds like a plan.

—-——————————
If you like “How To Stop Being Petty & Learn To Be Happier” Check out these other posts:

How To Be Successful & Be Happy

How To Care Less & Not Care About What People Think

The Power Of Positivity: Live The Good Life

Why Integrity Matters

As I get older, The idea of living a life of integrity is starting to fade. I miss being “green” and wanting to do the right thing all the time.

But I know that that’s not how the world works. Why is that? Because of greed, selfishness and ego. This is what drives our world.

Integrity, according to Webster Dictionary, means a firm adherence to an exceptional code of moral or artistic values.

As a child I was always concerned about doing the right thing, making sure everyone got their fair share. But even then, I noticed the lack of fairness and integrity in my fellow students, teachers and other adults. I saw the most talented athletes get chosen first for sports teams at gym and given the most floor time. Students that wanted to participate were left to the sidelines. And I’m not even talking about organized school sports. Teachers spent the most time with students who were already very smart, had tutoring and helicopter parents to support their performance. So children who had less were expected to produce more to keep up.

I always thought adulthood would be a lot easier when dealing with moral problems. I thought people are honest. Naively, I wondered why would adults lie? I had thought that my fellow students were opportunistic liars and cheaters because they were immature. But the reality is that these children would grow up to be adults who continued to lack important characteristics like honesty, integrity and virtue. The saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” has a ring of truth.

The childhood version of me imagined that I would grow into an adult that was confident, sure, honest and willing to fight for what’s right but now I’m not sure I’ll ever be those things. Some days I can feel myself shrinking, barraged by the screams of people playing politics and those fighting for themselves.

From the time I was 20-25 years old, I was very optimistic. Truly believing that the world would sort itself out and that what’s right will prevail, but that’s not necessarily the truth. It feels like the older I get, the more “woke” I am about how things work.

I’ve been burned a few times. I’ve written a few posts on that.

The Horror of Dealing With Mold In My Apartment

Dealing with Toxic Work Culture

From friends to work to even my landlord now. They’ve all burned me. When it comes to benefits, money and status, a sense of doing what’s right goes out the window.

I came to realize that there are people who will only interact with you when it benefits them financially, politically or socially. It was a hard pill to swallow, to realize that there were a lot of people who were disingenuous.

But I grew up.

And sometimes when I’m looking at a situation, I now think how can I profit from this, how can I benefit? I hate to admit it but I’m becoming one of those people who are selfish, egoistic and greedy. It’s almost like I can’t help it. Intrusive thoughts enter my mind like, if you don’t take advantage, someone else will or you have to take your share of the pie.

I’m ashamed because deep down I know these thoughts are wrong. I’ve grown to distrust other people to the point that I’m becoming untrustworthy and I hate that.

Am I growing up and becoming less naive? Or am I becoming jaded and callous?

If the young and optimistic version of me met 30 year old me today what would she say? She’d say I’m becoming everything she hates about this world and that I’ve given up. But fighting to keep my integrity and resolve to be an upright, unselfish human being sometimes feels like swimming against an impossible current.

I can count on my one hand the amount of people outside of my family who I respect for their character. Everyone else would easily resort to dishonesty if they knew they could benefit from it.

Maybe that’s why I have no friends… I just can’t accept a friendship that’s false.

So what to do?

I still think that being a good person is important. I want to hold on to that childish hope that as a human being we can care for the good of others without gaining anything for ourselves. Without even a few good people in our society, we’d be living in a literal hell where society is built on bullshit, lies, deception and selfishness.

The truth is I’ve met people with integrity and I hope others can look at me and see that I aim to be a person of good character as well.

So hopefully the child I knew isn’t as disappointed as I feel in myself sometimes. As I aim to be a person who’s better at standing up for what’s good and right for its own sake, I need to learn to not have such high expectations of other people.

Integrity and character matters because at the end of the day that’s all we have.

Check out my other posts

On Gratitude…

The Power of Positivity

The Power Of Change