Single Vs Relationship: Which Is Better?

Single vs Relationship: Good Relationship Advice
Single vs Relationship: Good Relationship Advice

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The grass is always greener on the other side. At least that’s how we always feel about it. When you’re single, you wish you were partnered up; when you’re partnered up you’re itching to be single. Why is that? Is it better to be single vs in a relationship?

A lot of people find themselves in this crossroad in life and wondering which option is better. For me, I was unknowingly a serial monogamist, always in a relationship or seeking one. But I’ve met other people who love their freedom when they’re single and are happier by their lonesome.

I’ve also been the person who felt like the grass was greener on the other side. If I was in a relationship, then I was keeping an eye out for a good reason to leave and be single. If I was single, I was looking to meet the perfect boyfriend. Honestly, this was actually very unhealthy thinking and behavior so THANK GOD I grew out of it.

So here are some good relationship advice on whether a relationship is right for you vs if the single life is your path. Of course there’s no easy answers but, for those on the fence, this list might help you make sense of it all:

Pros of Being Single

Complete Freedom

Being able to do anything you want is pretty nice. Wake up late, meet up with friends on a moments notice, spend your money as you wish. It’s actually pretty awesome. The level of independence single people have is like 100%, they don’t have to compromise a single thing.

My older sister has been single for a while and is honestly enjoying her life. She takes sailing lessons, travels to at least 3 different countries a year, drives an Audi and lives according to her terms. As far as I know, singledom doesn’t make her sad and she’s able to take things as they go.

No Drama

Not getting into arguments with your significant other is also a big plus. Relationships, no matter how good they are, can still be a source of drama. Long term relationships usually go through natural highs and lows. Going through a low point can result in arguments, fights and resentment. I’ve found that working through these problems resulted in a stronger relationship but hell! Those fights were so stressful. When you’re single, you don’t have to deal with any of it. Every day has the same emotional capacity and you don’t have to go through highs and lows to grow as a person and as a couple. Which, honestly, sometimes seems easier.

Freedom to date whoever you want!

Dating at times can be fun. The excitement of meeting someone new is freeing and totally unexpected. Will you meet the love of your life with this date or will you just have some company to chat with over wine? Either way, getting to know new potential partners can be fun. At least in the beginning. After a while, I heard it gets stale but there is always the freedom to take breaks from the dating scene. When you’re in a relationship, continuing dating is a huge no-no. Your kind of stuck dating the same person. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Not being in a bad relationship

Let’s be truthful here, not all relationships are good or healthy to be in. We’ve all heard of those horror stories of a friend living with a hateful or narcissistic partner and how impossible it was to manage or deal with them. In that situation, of course it’s so much better to be single. At times it can feel like dating and relationships are a crapshoot. Some people save themselves the hassle of bad, selfish partners by opting out and staying single and that is completely fine.

Pros of being In a relationship

There are some major pros to being in a relationship and some good relationship advice too!

Companionship

It’s easy to feel lonely when you come home to an empty apartment. Not having someone to share the details of your day can get tiresome. Of course you can fill your days with friends and hobbies but when you finally get home, you can only fill up so much time. Having that special someone to come home to can be such a relaxing feeling. It’s also good for your overall health and happiness.

The financial and emotional support of a partner

We live in a world where we’re told that the individual is what matters. And that we can get farther on our own. But I don’t believe that. Being able to share expenses with someone else is a huge benefit to having a partner. Having someone to vent to and cry on when you’re having a hard day is amazing. So for single people, they can rely on themselves but two incomes are usually better than one and having someone who truly understands you is so valuable.

Especially for women, it’s just a known fact that they earn less than men (even for the same level position)(not saying it’s right, just that this is how it is). Women who are able to find men who make a reasonable income (and marry them) are at an advantage financially, especially since sharing expenses leads to less cost per person.

A good relationship means you always have someone to do things with. A forever friend, in a way. Someone who will attend weddings with you as your plus 1, someone who will be able to go on vacation with you, someone to cheer you up when you’re down, and someone who’s always available for date night (even Netflix and Chill). Having that person in your life who can consistently do these things with you is pretty awesome, and in this way single people miss out.

Planning a family

It is way easier to plan for a family if you already have a steady partner. I would say 100% of people who want children, if they had a choice, would want to raise their children with two parents instead of a single parent household. When you’re in a positive relationship, it brings you closer to that goal of having the right situation to bring children into the world. For single people, their singledom kind of delays their ability to have children. First you need to start dating, find someone compatible that also wants children, date them for a while, then make the plan financially, emotionally, and logistically to have children. For a lot of my friends, the single life has cramped their hopes of having a child in the near future. But a lot of them are just smelling the roses and enjoying being the fun aunt or uncle.
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Overall, I can’t really say whether being single vs a relationship is better than the other. I have met a few people who just do better as a single person than they ever could in a relationship, and that’s OK. For the me, I always desired to be in a relationship and find my special someone even when I was in high school with no life experience to tell me how to be in a positive partnership. So that’s what’s worked for me. Either way you cut it, you have to know what you want and what you need for yourself.

I Hope You Liked “Single Vs Relationship: Which Is Better” Check Out My Other Posts On Relationships PlUS Good Relationship Advice!

Why Dating Apps Suck

The Biggest Red Flags In A Relationship

What is Love?

7 Signs That He’s A Fuckboy

My Advice For New Parents & Preparing For A Baby

Preparing for a baby Advice for new parents

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Right now I have a 4 month old at home but this isn’t my first rodeo. Preparing for a baby is rough and honestly a lot of people just have no clue what to expect. You think you know, but you have NO idea. So I thought I would share my advice for new parents & new moms.

Sometimes I see a pregnant woman at work and when I tell them I’m a mother of two kids they kind of look to me hoping I can tell them what to expect when preparing for a baby. Honestly, lol, I don’t want to scare them with the truth, so I usually give them some sort of watered down answer and spin it positively. “Oh, it can get intense, but it gets easier.” Today, however, I’m going to be 100% honest with you guys: THIS SH*T IS NOT A WALK IN THE PARK. Not even for second timers. But at the same time, it’s worth it. The first year baby struggles are worth it.

I recently wrote a post on my postpartum experience and decided to expand on that on what to expect as new parents. With my first daughter, we got sooo much stuff from the baby shower it was like I was swimming in baby gear. It was also much that most of it I didn’t even get to use because the baby was growing too fast.

My first pregnancy was honestly unexpected so we were just living day to day trying to figure it all out. The second time around there were some things I wish I did to prepare for the baby.

If I could do it again here are some advice I would give for new parents preparing few a baby:

1) Rest the week before you’re due or when your body is telling you

I made the terrible mistake of working all the way up to my labor. It was 3 in the morning and I was texting my boss and my coworker that I was going into labor. On one hand, every single day of my maternity leave was used on bonding with my daughter, but after a whole pregnancy on my feet and birthing a 9lb baby, preparing for a baby, I was done!

But the fun had just begun, and taking care of a newborn is an around the clock job. A job I was physically unprepared for because I had used ALL my energy working at my job during the pregnancy, and then whatever energy I had left went towards the delivery. Afterwards, I literally felt like I was hit by a train.

It would have been more productive for me to take a few days off and rest. Then the postpartum period wouldn’t have hit me so hard.

2) Just focus on baby and yourself after the birth

Seriously. I let a few things slip during the pregnancy. I could barely get up off the couch during my 8th and 9th month. I kept saying, “As soon as I give birth, I’ll be more mobile and able to get stuff done.”

That was a huge delusion. Once I gave birth, I was physically drained from giving birth to my 9 lb. miracle. I had to nurse her around the clock too. And yet, I didn’t listen to my body and I still pushed myself to take care of my other daughter like I always do, cook, and clean the house. I was doing this LITERALLY the week after giving birth.

I listened to my mother in law who looked around my house one day with my sink full of dishes and toys strewn on the floor and said, “You know, I know you have a newborn and it’s a lot but you need to make time to clean up. A baby shouldn’t be living like this.” LOL Because she’s my mother in law, I bit my tongue on that one. Some side advice for new parents: Don’t let the inlaws parenting advice get to you.

So I doubled down on cleaning and taking care of my 6 year old, because isn’t that what mothers are supposed to do?

What I really needed to do was focus on the essentials like feeding the baby and resting whenever I could, because in the end it really did me no benefit. Straining myself and spreading myself too thin just resulted in a REALLY difficult postpartum period where I was moody, tired, depressed, anxious and paranoid.

So rest. You deserve it.

3) Get all the baby furniture and baby essentials in advance around 6-7 months.

We already had the baby furniture from our first daughter but the first time around we ordered it a bit early. I kind of just wanted the baby’s space to be settled right away. I didn’t want to worry about it at 8/9 months when my feet were swollen and I could barely stand without my back aching.

That ended up being a good decision. It made things way easier.

Around 7 months I had my baby shower and we literally were drowning in baby stuff in the apartment after that. But it was great to have everything so early. We spent some time organizing the house and decorating the baby’s room so that my first daughter could enter the world with her space already set up. We cleaned the room and prepared meticulously.

Second baby, not so much….

I ordered a few necessities on Amazon but since we already went through bringing a newborn home with our first daughter, we were a little cocky about our preparedness.

My husband scrambled the first two days after I gave birth to clean the house and get the last minute essentials. What I really needed him to do was to help me rest while the baby was fussing. Every 2 to 3 hours the hospital staff was waking me up. It went like this: take temperatures, check on the baby, bathe the baby, and wake me up in the process. I literally had no one sleep at all within the first 48 hours of giving birth. If we had prepared in advance better, he would’ve been able to be by my side and help during those crucial first few days.

4) Don’t let visitors overwhelm you

Everyone and their mother is going to want to see the new baby. And as much as you want to have everyone else meet him/her, there’s a lot to consider before you do.

First, you’re probably going to be super duper exhausted after giving birth. And if you had a c-section, then forget about it. You can barely stand up.

I also made the mistake of letting all of my and my husband’s family visit. But then I had to worry about my house looking kept, me looking half decent, and having enough food in the house, etc. It was ridiculous. Advice to new parents, don’t do that.

What I really needed was for someone to help me clean up around the house, but I was too prideful to ask for help.

It got to a point of exhaustion where I just had to say no. And honestly, I wish I started saying no sooner because I wouldn’t have had such a bad case of the baby blues if I was better rested and I wouldn’t have felt so stressed during my postpartum period.

5) Get a cozy space for nursing or bottle feeding

However, I didn’t forget to buy a boppy pillow. In my opinion, nursing pillows are the most necessary purchases to get. But I did forget how demanding nursing a baby was.

LIke OMG, some days I was nursing a full 8 hours. Holding, rocking, soothing this little ball of joy. I’m so glad I was able to build out a space that was comfortable because I was using that corner of the house ALL THE TIME.

Feedings take a majority of time with a newborn so having a place to keep a rocking chair or a nursing nook is super important.

Despite having set up this space and preparing for a baby, being hunched over a baby while nursing does a job on your back, so having your own comfortable space is a must.

6) Enjoy every day

Most importantly, enjoy every day. This is my most important advice for new parents. I blinked and my baby turned 4 months old. Every day is challenging but every day I have love in my heart for her.

The truth is that I recognize that this period in my life is fleeting. That these fertile years and years I have to be a mom to an infant and young child are slipping away with each passing day. The thought that these times will be behind me one day makes me sad.

So make the best of it. Even if things aren’t perfect, even if things aren’t easy.

Because in a moment, it’ll all be behind you and the only memories you’ll have are the pictures you took and the stories they’ll share.

Check Out My Other Posts If You Like My Advice For New Parents Preparing For A Baby.

My Unplanned Pregnancy Story

On Becoming Mother

Killer Resume or Interview That Wows? Which Is Better?

Resume or Interview
Resume or Interview

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I recently decided to respond to a few recruiters about some work opportunities. I hate job hunting but they have a saying, “the best time to look for a job is when you already have one.” Surprisingly, I’ve almost always gotten offers or serious interest and it had me wondering about the reason for my success. I mean, some people look for work for months and aren’t able to get a single bite. I’m out here getting interest from recruiters left and right! Without even looking! So which is more important, the resume or the interview? What is the most contributing factor that’s helping me get noticed and picked up by employers?

The Resume
It has taken me years to build a good resume. What makes a good resume? One that shows that all your experience for the past 5+ years is related and not broken up or mismatched. You can see the professional growth on the resume. I’ve literally taken jobs that were a step back in money and title because the company hiring had such an amazing reputation in the industry and I knew it would look good on my resume.

I’ve always opted for a resume that was simple, clean and ONLY one page. If someone has to flip the page to see the rest of your experience, then it’s too long. CVs tend to be longer but, honestly, does anyone use a CV anymore? Generally, recruiters spend less than 10 seconds scanning a resume, so making it longer than one page seems ridiculous.

The role of the resume is to get your foot in the door so you can get to the next step, so having a solid resume can open a ton of work opportunities.

I think the key for me was to only take work that was related to my field, look ahead at what other more successful people in my industry did (Thanks LinkedIn!), and try to copy that. As a result, my resume became more niche, to the point where I don’t really need to look for work, the work finds me.

Check out my other post on how to structure a Resume.
The Interview

Interviewing also took me years to get good at and, to be honest, it hasn’t been something I’ve really perfected yet. I always got the feeling that US employers generally worship the “extrovert” and that specific type of personality that can get people up off their feet and excited.

Since I’m more of an introvert, most of my interviews have been good at best but not exceptional.

At the very least, I’m no longer the nervous nelly I once was during interviews. I think that has more to do with my experience level. Once you reach a certain level of experience, you sort of lose that uncertainty and voice in your head that asks, “Am I really qualified for this position?”

Things that I’ve definitely improved on are:

    Confidence

This has been key to capitalizing on work opportunities. I’ve noticed that I’ve no longer looked at the job I was interviewing for as something that I “needed” to validate me or take me to the next level. Now I’m able to come to the interview table and really ask hard questions like, “WHY is this position available now?” Or “What’s the company culture like?” I can take a stance where it’s almost like the company has to woo me in order to get me to move. No more groveling for the job with multiple thank you emails, no more hoping and praying for the job, none of that sh*t.

    Answering BS Questions

We all know what BS questions the interviewer usually asks. “If you were any animal what would you be and why?” “Tell me about a time you were challenged at work.” “Tell me about a time you made a mistake at work.” Those are the types of questions that come at the most random time and, at which point, you have to parrot an answer that the interviewer can agree with. Becoming skilled at these can be challenging. Especially if you’re nervous and not great at thinking on your feet.

For me, I just try to say what the person wants to hear while also tying it to why I should have the job. And ALWAYs spin it positively.

    Not Caring About The Outcome

Like I mentioned, “the best time to look for a job is when you already have one.” Having a job already and not moving without another one lined up has helped me TREMENDOUSLY. It helps me to not care and just carry on with the interview like I’m the prize. It’s allowed me to be picky about what work opportunities I’m willing to take.

I’ve seen people quit their jobs out of anger and then regret it because it’s only a matter of time before you run through your savings and then absolutely NEED a job, any job at any rate.
Side note: no matter how good you feel your interview went, NEVER quit your job until you’ve accepted their offer.

Overall having solid interview skills are important if you actually want to LAND the job.

So which is more important, resume or interview?
If I had to put my finger on it, I would say I think solid resumes are the most important to the job search. At the end of the day, the quality of your resume, your experience and the aesthetics of your resume are 100% in your control, an interview is not.

Resumes are also the way to get your foot in the door. Before the interview, there’s a recruiter picking out applicants from a pile of resumes. Only the most stellar resumes are able to proceed to the interview phase.

Not to say that interviews can’t be important, you can walk in with a semi-good resume and just blow the hiring manager out of the water by having an awesome personality and great interview skills.

Still, I find the the interview process to be pretty chaotic and arbitrary. Sometimes, companies aren’t even looking to hire but use the interview process to shop their competitors and get their employees to give off confidential information in the hopes of getting a job. Sometimes, you just can’t vibe with the interviewer. Interviewers can be rude, standoffish or downright inappropriate.

So even though you can’t always master every single interview, the right resume can almost always open the door to work opportunities that are the right fit.

Check Out My Other Posts
How To Be Successful & Be Happy

Work Smarter, Not Harder

How To Interview Well: Tips & Tricks For The Perfect Interview

Way of The Wolf By Jordan Belfort ~Full Book Review

Way Of The Wolf Jordan Belfort Book Review
Way Of The Wolf Jordan Belfort Book Review

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My company requires me to read two developmental books as part of my performance goals so I picked up “The Way Of The Wolf” by Jordan Belfort. It’s supposed to be a look at his sales strategy on how to increase closing. At first I was thinking, I hope this is appropriate for work, Wolf of Wall Street wasn’t rated PG and it was basically a movie about how these sleazy stock broker salespeople screwed people out of money. I wondered whether the book would have legitimate sales advice or technique on how to scam. Then I thought, well, he went to federal prison and then came out and wrote a book on his experience, then made it a bestseller, then sold the rights to the film, sooooooo he might actually know a thing or two.

And he does. I would describe his selling technique as a bit old school but it definitely works. If you’re a seasoned salesperson, you might recognize some of these tricks and maybe pick up a few new ones. I definitely did.

I liked how he made references to the movie to help me conceptualize his technique because it kind of ties everything together.

The main takeaway is that he uses what he calls “The Straightline System” for selling. The Straightline System is basically getting people from being uncertain about the thing you’re selling to absolutely certain. He shows you how to get them there in the most efficient fashion.

Jordan Belfort says that people can be emotionally certain or logically certain, but unless you have both a sale isn’t made. Looking back at all the deals that fell through for me, I always missed either the emotional aspect or the logical. But Jordan explains that it’s actually quite easy to get people to feel 100% like their emotional and logical decision is to buy what you’re selling. In this way, I found Way Of The Wolf as very old school. A lot of these techniques I’ve seen from very seasoned salespeople who are successful in their field.

Some of the highlights that I found useful:

That selling is more of an art. It’s more than just saying “buy this because of reason’s X,Y and Z.” It’s actually a very complex process, which Jordan Belfort breaks down for you, one with many layers.

Here he teaches you how to make a good first impression and stresses the importance of respecting the first impression and giving it your all. I used to be the type of person who thought that first impressions were a myth and that initial impressions can change over time. That is true, but it requires a LOT of work. Way Of The Wolf makes it easy to give an amazing first impression.

Tonality and Body Language was an essential chapter. Personally, I think that’s how Jordan Belfort really persuaded people to buy into his penny stocks and business ideas. He truly is the master on how to give off the right tone coupled with perfect body language. The obvious truth is that a majority of our communication is in verbal tone and body language. So how do we tap into this incredible communication resource?

Jordan Belfort masters this with his concept of future pacing and establishing an empowered state. Basically imagining yourself as already achieving a certain outcome and getting in the state you feel when you’ve accomplished something incredible. Once you achieve that and are able to tap into those two things on demand, your tonality and body language will reflect the confidence you need to persuade people to do anything!

To be honest, I used this technique before so it was nice to see that Jordan knew this little trick. It’s more than a “just fake it till you make it” ideology. The core concept is that you truly believe you’ve made it so that others can believe in it too.

Then he goes into how to prospect properly and touches on the ONE mistake all sales novices make.

That is, trying to close anyone and everyone without knowing if they’re truly capable of closing, without screening or qualifying them.

Jordan Belfort goes into detail on how to properly qualify them so that you know exactly whether they’re a prospect worth pursuing or not.

Way Of The Wolf also stresses the importance of having a good script. At first I kind of scoffed at the idea. I mean, seriously, a script?!? When I think of a script I think of canned words from a cold calling salesperson that doesn’t know his hand from his foot. But Jordan Belfort convinced me. Here’s what he said about it, “Since the day you were old enough to talk, every single movie or TV show that made you scream, laugh, cry, or shout or got you so deeply invested in the characters that you ended up binge watching the entire series in a single weekend, every last one of them was scripted.”

And it’s true, movies can capture our hearts and yet they require scripts to do that. The actors put in hours and hours, days upon days to perfect their lines and create the perfect scene. Now imagine if as a salesperson you could be as persuasive as those actors selling you those scenes? That’s why I think it’s time for me to come up with a sales script and give it a second chance.

Overall I found Way Of The Wolf as an excellent guide on how to sell, especially for beginners just starting out. Being able to think back on certain scenes of The Wolf Of Wall Street and see how he used these techniques really helped put his sales tactics into perspective. Would recommend for all novice salespeople and veterans refreshing on their sales chops.

My favorite quotes:
“Every word, every phrase, every question you ask, every tonality you use; every single one of them should have the same ultimate goal in mind, which is to increase the prospect’s level of certainty as much as humanly possible so that by the time you get to the close he’s feeling so incredibly certain that he almost has to say yes. That’s the goal.” Quote from Inventing The Straightline

“Either you’re being judged as a person who is sharp, on the ball, someone they want to do business with or you’re being judged as someone they do not want to do business with.” Quote from Advanced Body Language.

“When I say, ‘extremely powerful,’ what I mean is that once you become even reasonably proficient with this strategy you can actually get people to buy things they shouldn’t buy, and do things they shouldn’t do, without them even realizing that an extraordinary amount of influence was brought to bear.” Quote from Advanced Tonality

Check Out My Other Posts

20 Shocking Sales Stats That Will Change How You Sell

Top Lessons I learned In Business & As A Salesperson

Motivational Book Club: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

What I Learned From Blogging 100 Blog Posts

I Learned From Blogging 100 blog posts & blogging mistakes
I Learned From Blogging 100 blog posts & blogging mistakes

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Learn how to increase website traffic. What I learned from blogging 100 posts

I can’t believe I’ve written 100 blog posts. It’s been an incredible blogging journey! Thank you to everyone who has followed me from day one, I couldn’t ask for a better audience. In this post, I’m going to go over how to increase website traffic, what I learned from blogging and the big blogging mistakes I fell into.

Blogging has been a wonderful outlet for me to get my thoughts out, share my knowledge and connect with other people. Surprisingly, this is my second attempt at blogging. My first attempt was in 2012 when I was doing online amazon cosmetic sales. I was buying off the shelf wholesale cosmetics and selling them on Amazon, that was when my love for Amazon really took off. I realized that even though my online Amazon business was strong it was still weak and unstable due to changes in supply and the fact we had only one staple cosmetic that sold. So I decided to start a blog to help promote the other less popular items.

I learned a lot, especially about SEO and putting a blog together. It was great. But when my business fell due to issues with getting cosmetic supplies, so did my blog. At the time, I didn’t see how blogging on its own could reap benefits.

I was SO wrong. Today, there are blogs that have started in 2012 that are KILLING it with ad revenue, affiliate sales and product sales. If I had stuck with it, I would be blogging full time by now.

But you know what they say, “The best time to plant a tree was yesterday, the second best time is today.” So in 2017, I tried again and started Adulting 101. This time I was going to cover a ton of different topics like work, lifestyle, parenting, relationships and just overall life.

This post makes my 100th entry and I can’t believe how much I’ve learned from blogging this go around. I’ve learned a lot, including how to increase website traffic. I’ve made so many blogging mistakes in the past but now, after 100 posts, I think I have all the kinks out.

Here is what I learned were my biggest blogging mistakes

1 . Not taking SEO more seriously

You can look all over the blogosphere and see a lot of talk about SEO. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. And to be honest, it’s still an area of weakness for me. The problem was that since 2017 I was half-assing it by throwing random keywords in, thinking I knew which keywords worked, without really researching it. This made it hard for people to find me on Google, Bing, and Yahoo.

What I learned from blogging was that I really needed to be thinking about what keywords fit the article, research them, and create little blurbs so when the link showed up in the search, people knew what the article was about. I also needed to optimize the website for easy usage.

Apparently SEO is a big deal with lots of other blogs devoted on how to get the most out of their traffic through search engines and organic traffic. It took 100 blog posts to figure that out.

2 . Not switching to a separate webhost sooner.

For me this was out of ignorance and laziness. Some of you might not know, but the biggest name in blogging is WordPress. I didn’t know that there was a difference between WordPress.org and WordPress.com, so I signed up with WordPress.com. I thought it would be easier to use WordPress’s blogging technology (.org) and their server (.com) together.

Nope.

I could not for the life of me get the blog off the ground. The issue was that the server (.com) was too slow. They were redirecting my traffic, making the load time take too long, and giving, just overall, a bad user experience. I thought that their IT would fix it, but instead what they did was take lesser trafficked websites like mine and throttle them so they were slower. This allowed them to make bandwidth room for the bigger and heavier trafficked websites.

Web hosting, I learned, was a fickle business like that.

Self hosting with a different company, who’s sole purpose is to offer your website speed and bandwidth, is the better option. It helps provide a speedier page load time which in turn results in a better user experience. If you check out my other pages, you’ll notice that the load time for mobile and desktop devices are almost instantaneous.

3 . Being inconsistent

Out of all my blogging mistakes, this was the biggest one from the start. I still struggle with motivation and can sometimes get writers block. My worst mistake blogging was taking 6 months off at the end of 2018. The truth is that my readers wanted to keep reading and when I wasn’t writing, it resulted in losing the very followers I worked so hard to attract and keep.

Had I kept up with my blog, even if it meant slowing down for a bit, I would have been better off in the long term.

On the other hand, I’m not a quitter. I haven’t quit. I have to give myself some credit that being inconsistent and taking breaks is way better than quitting all together.

4 . Thinking I had to do everything myself

I’m really not technical. I could write thousands of articles on my own but putting together a website, changing hosts, inserting tags/codes and optimizing speed are just out of my realm of knowledge.

I could literally spend hours watching YouTube trying to learn how to migrate my site from one host to another and end up completely failing and crashing my site.

Trust me, I’ve crashed my site trying to alter code.

What I needed to learn was that I didn’t have to do things outside of my experience. There are actually tons of people who can do the technical side for me, and for cheap. I always thought that using an IT guy would cost me hundreds of dollars, which seemed too expensive. Turns out that on Fiverr or Upworks there are tons of people in other parts of the world who are capable of doing the IT work for me, remotely, and for minimal cost! All I had to do was contract with them on those platforms and read their reviews to make sure I wasn’t getting scammed.

What I learned from 100 blog posts was that I didn’t have to be a one woman show.

5 . Not thinking about the user experience

This is mainly how I learned to increase my website traffic. In addition to being with the wrong webserver host, I had a bunch of junk on my page that slowed it down. I had a web applications that I definitely didn’t need and I had photos that were too large. (Rookies make these kinds of blogging mistakes).

What I didn’t realize was that a website can only handle so much code. Everything you add to a page like traffic analytics, social buttons for sharing, even those pretty website templates, those things will weigh down a page and make it super slow.

I also didn’t realize that, for the average person, waiting more than 2 seconds for a page to load or to move from page to page, is TOO long and creates frustration. Those people are just going to bounce off the website faster than you can blink an eye.

What I learned from blogging was that the user experience was everything and that I had to get rid of all the junk and unnecessary aspects of Adulting 101 including the ads I was running. This blogging mistake was easily overlooked. Was it really worth it to run ads when I was making $.10 a month? Nope.
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It’s still a little early for me to see a website traffic increase, I’ve definitely noticed a difference in traffic quality. Visitors are enjoying my content more and staying on the page for longer, they’re also subscribing and visiting other pages. It makes me so happy to finally see the results I wanted. All these things were things I needed to do from day 1, but better late than never. Despite all my blogging mistakes I’ve been able to keep growing and learning.

It’s been an amazing journey, writing 100 blog posts, but I really can’t wait to write 100 more blog posts or even 1000 more if I can be so lucky.

Check Out My Other Posts!
Why I Started Blogging

Why Multiple Streams Of Income Are Absolutely Necessary

How To Get Ahead At Work Without Brown Nosing