I wish this was a happier post but how do you write about disappointment and make it sound happy? It’s kinda hard.
The reality is that disappointment is something that will happen to every human being at some point in life, most likely several times or many times in your life. It’s easy to feel disappointment if someone you loved let you down or if you failed a big test or if you didn’t get an apartment you loved. Actually, there are a million reasons you could be feeling down and negative.
Disappointment is a complex emotion. Not quite sadness, not quite anger but something in between. It happens when you genuinely believe something good will happen and it doesn’t or, even worst, something bad happens. It’s probably one of the more dreaded and hardest emotions to handle properly.
But running from or ignoring disappointment, it doesn’t really do much. Most likely, the negativity will manifest in other ways like arguing with your family or getting frustrated at smaller things. Neither are really great ways of handling your emotions.
So Here Is The Best And Mentally Most Healthy Way To Deal With Disappointment:
Allow Yourself To Feel Bad
A lot of people would tell you the opposite but I find this counterintuitive. If you feel bad, then you feel bad. Especially if you’ve just went through something traumatic or were really let down by someone you love. You don’t owe it to anybody to feel happy or to save others from feeling guilty because of how they disappointed you.
Sulk. Cry. Feel Bad.
It’s important that you to give yourself time to feel. Disappointment isn’t an easy emotion to deal with but allow yourself to feel it, then move on.
Drink Some Tea And Take Some Vitamins
I’m all about holistic solutions to problems. Alcohol and drugs are a big no-no for me. What they really do is create a dependence and a bandaid over the problem.
The reality is that with disappointment or any other negative emotion, your body reacts to the stress with a fight or flight physical response. Your body responds by producing hormones that put you on edge and mentally trick you that you’re about start a fight or need to run.
But there are herbal tricks you can use to help calm yourself if you’re feeling bad. I like taking teas that have valerian root and camomile to help me relax and boost my mood.
On occasion, if I’m really feeling like it’s hard to shake my bad mood, I’ll take a vitamin supplement that includes L-Theanine and Magnesium, which are known to have calming effects without sedation.
Take A Break
Whatever is on your mind and bothering you, it’s good to just take a break from it. Yes, you should allow yourself to feel but you also shouldn’t dwell on it either. It creates a cycle of negativity.
After you’ve allowed yourself to feel bad for a day or two, distraction is the best remedy to help you get back to your normal self. My husband likes to go see a movie after we’ve had an argument or if he has a lot on his mind. When he gets back, he’s cool and collected, and feeling much better than he did before the movie.
Distraction is not necessarily running from your emotions, it’s more like pressing a pause button and allowing yourself to deal with it later or at least lessen the pain. Obsessing over your disappointment or anger is not healthy and won’t help you move on in the long run.
Make A Plan
It’s hard but playing the victim forever just doesn’t work. You’ll need to find a way to make sure whatever disappointed you or upset you doesn’t happen again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
After you’ve cooled down, that’s a good time to chat with the person that put you in a bad mood. It’s always good to do it with a clear head.
If something just didn’t go your way, you can now start planning on what adjustments you need to make to get over your hurdle. Disappointment can be the catalyst for something big. Even though you’re upset things didn’t work out, you can use that frustration to push you towards solutions.
Put It Behind You
Last but not least, you have to let those negative feelings go. They can’t last forever and they shouldn’t. Putting whatever is bothering you in the rear view mirror is healthy. Sometimes it’s easier to hold a grudge or to put yourself in a bad place but I like to follow the 5/95 rule. You can spend 5% of your time feeling bad about yourself but then the rest of the 95% should be spent on getting better and growing.
No one likes to be around a negative nelly and I’ve been guilty of dwelling on things way too long.
At the end of the day, we are beings built on emotions. We can’t always control what emotions come our way but we do have autonomy over how we react to them.
For so much of my life, I’ve been pushed around by the waves of my feelings. Happiness, sadness, embarrassment, anxiety, anger, and disappointment have dictated how I lived my life and what my next move was.
Getting control of your more intense emotions will help you live a better and more balanced life.
Check Out My Other Posts