What Happens When My Job Is Stressing Me Out and My Job Is Killing Me.
I took this corporate job a year ago. I thought it was the only way. My husband had been layed off from work around that time and it had seemed like a godsend. I definitely do have much to be grateful for, but sometimes I still feel like a cog in the machine, the little guy and, to be honest, irrelevant. It’s honestly not where I saw my career at this point after 5 years in my industry. I feel like my job is killing me
I lost my drive; the motivating factor that kept me going when I was self employed. I lost knowing that the work was MINE.
I was okay during the transition. Sure my job is very difficult at times but it seemed fine and dandy. But I was the new kid on the block. I slowly built alliances with my manager and coworkers and pretty much played the office politics game of testing the waters. The first red flag was when I saw that the receptionists kept leaving.
“Employee loyalty begins with employer loyalty. Your employees should know that if they do the job they were hired to do with a reasonable amount of competence and efficiency, you will support them.” -Harvey Mackay, author.
You see, they were outsourcing the admins through temp jobs, they weren’t getting invited to company events, weren’t getting benefits and weren’t even getting overtime. The receptionists were the bottom totem pole and were not getting credit for the load they were supporting. Nothing boring happens at my job, let me just tell you that. It’s very intense environment with lots of customer service.
When I brought up the lack of admin support during my mid year review, upper management literally said, “A person in that position should not be making those types of requests.” I had mentioned the admin’s request not to change the schedule. She quit when she realized her job wasn’t going anywhere.
Second major red flag was when I brought up an issue I was having with a computer program I was using. I pointed out all the relevant facts to the issue and just wanted it resolved, an answer or some sort of protocol.
“This is a total mess.”
That was the email sent to me and everyone cced in response to my work and emails. He had no intention of removing the program let alone fixing it. That was definitely a demoralizing moment. Not only is my job very demanding, but my job it important to me and I don’t need to be treated like my concerns are irrelevant.
Then there’s also the issue of my manager, the one below my director, undercutting me. But I’ll save that for another post
Right now, I try to focus on the financial side of it. I get paid X to deal with all these people and all these problems. I don’t expect much and I’m sure there are other people who feel this way about their work. In reality, the money isn’t bad. My commute and workload is shit, but the money pays my bills and then some. I take solace in know that my family is secure (for right now), I’m building my resume for my next big move, and that I’m able to encourage my coworkers; who more often than not are considering leaving the company out of frustration and burnout without a backup plan or new job.
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